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Eggy_does_writing
Eggy_does_writingLv23yrEggy_does_writing

I've read a couple of chapters and this story is interesting so far. The prologue was pretty intense and I like how the author described the president. I feel like the author incorporated their personal views on politics and how the politicians can be very questionable. For the characters, I originally thought that Hitomi was gonna be a cliched "I'm not like other girls" girl but she's not. Instead, she admires her best friend, Minako, even though she is the complete opposite of her. She mentions that people view Minako as promiscuous but Hitomi doesn't seem to think any less of her friend, which is a good thing since it shows that Hitomi is not super judgmental towards what other people do with their own bodies. I also like how the author described the Smiths. It feels like the author is taking from their own experience of what Mormon families in the US are like. I liked how the author described Hitomi's experience in the US and how the change impacted her. I thought it was very appropriate for the author to include Bible quotes at the beginning of each chapter since this is a story that involves angels. Now for the negatives. Mainly just poor grammar. I thought it was a little weird when the author started describing the MC's posterior and chest. However, it then related to Western beauty standards and Hitomi's self image. In that case, it was kinda relevant. But then the author mentioned that people who are muscular and very sweaty are "Totally worth it", which I thought was weird. Overall, this story is pretty interesting!

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What a delightfully detailed review! Thank you so very much! I'm actually in the middle of editing the initial 10 chapters for exactly the sort of grammatical mistakes and cues you pointed out. Hopefully you'll see a positive difference later today :)