Review Detail of Daddy_Ike in Elastic Boundaries

Alright, here are my impression of this story. Keep in mind that what I criticize here are also the problems I'm currently dealing with my own story: Pros: + Descriptions are vivid, good enough to imagine the scene taking place. + A lot of conflicts. + Characters with a lot of personalities behind them (the Man is big dad). What needs to be worked on: - Would be nice to keep dialogue in a separate paragraph - There are time skips already? Are they relevant to the plot at the current moment? - No hints of what the story is going to be about. - A lot of conflicts that need reasoning down the line. I have a good feeling that the author can create lovable and hateful characters on the fly, and having such is what makes good stories prevail. The only problem is the flow of events from one point to the next. Good nonetheless.