Yeah author you can’t be making mistakes like these. That $1 was crucial to the entire story, had you messed it up I would have stopped reading this entirely. /s

Bro? In the last time she met him wasn’t she was like 10 years old?

Hmm, you’re doing good but the problem I find with these chapters is it isn’t terror-inducing enough. The mc coming to slice them all like butter doesn’t really invoke terror, you need to be very descriptive and imaginative, conjure the pov of one of the office workers in the story for example. What he might be feeling, whether he has kids at home, etc. Slicing up office workers makes it seem like they are just common mobs, but when you breathe life and personality into their characters, it makes it even more frightening when they’re killed and terrorized by the mc. For example, you could have had one of the office workers on a video call with his daughter saying “I’ll be home soon to celebrate your birthday darling! Daddy got you a big present this year!” And then immediately after her dad gets sliced, and the girl starts screaming, setting the stage for events to come. Right now it’s just mindless murder and it’s somewhat boring.

Have the mc annihilate every sect on the planet as payback for imprisoning him there for a decade, it would be fair justice.

Basic mana beam that destroys a whole continent lok

Think about it like this. In the novel, when Jarrett used an attack enhancement card, it improved his power of a grade 5 spell up to a grade 2 spell. That would mean since the card gives a 1000x enhancement, that each individual grade increases in power by 10x. So, if you advance to grade 4, your spells are 10x more powerful than grade 5, if you advance to grade 3, your spells are now 100x more powerful than grade 5. Since jareth is at grade 3 spells now, a 1000x enhancement would mean he can theoretically use grade-0 level spells at the pseudo level (not true grade zero, because grade 1 and above transcend multipliers and spell power becomes limitless.

Nice chapter

You should upload more often the story’s just getting good

Now that’a a villain

Here’s a few ideas for you: 1. Give the MC an “Anomaly system,” where he gets points every time he does something that didn’t happen in the previous timeline. Even breathing in a different area than before would give 0.00001 points and so on. This would be great to add to this story since it gives the MC more motivation to change the world he once lived in, rather than simply have a naive goal of getting rich. The MC getting money is great, but all you would need to do is put 5k on a ridiculously high odds sports game he recalls from the past and make like 1M off of a single bet because he knows the score, events, etc. Then if he does this twice, he gets 50m, and so on. It’s a bit easy to make money in his current predicament so it would be best if you added something like a system. Just a suggestion though :) 2. Instead of Sydney dying, the worlds will needs to take another life in place of Sydney’s to compensate. One of jacks close friends or family members dies instead. Likewise, for future events, if he makes money off of a bet, someone else would lose out on a large amount of money. Causality, in other words.

How does this add anything to the story lol

I’ll gift you a magic castle again if you make the mc do something sadistic that’s absolutely outrageous. Maybe killing a few thousand people or going after innocents, do something interesting to make the mcs lore better.

If our mc truly is a terrorist that’s what he would do.

Criminal behavior. Killing their son, stealing his body, then mocking the parents who are desperate to find their missing son. It would be icing on the cake if he killed both of them in front of a sibling of Kaelith.

🤨

Ability idea: Puppeteer: Any words you think of, your target will say aloud. Good for deception/manipulation. Item idea: Food Enhancer: A single drop of this added to a food item will make that item taste like the worst thing the person eating the item has ever tasted, ten times worse. Good for committing acts of terrorism. Weapon idea: Balls Be Gone: Need you say more?

A novel with promising aspects. This is well refined and the writing keeps you engaged in the story. I recommend it.

Got another idea for you. Have the mc switch to Erebus and head to his family home to reunite with his original family, but then go missing again the next day after stealing from their treasury.

Cedric Lamphart: An ingenious calculator that serves as a neutral entity. His exclusive power is Dodge, where he can always dodge the first attack without exception no matter how powerful it is. No one knows this though, and everyone thinks his power is damage amplification instead. His family, one with great power responsible for keeping noble factions in check while ensuring commoners with promising talents don’t rise to one day overtake nobility, recently called him after the tournament. They asked him how it went and if any families were showing signs of promising talents that they needed to weed out or cripple for the time being. They also asked whether any commoners had promising talents and ambitions to match those talents. Cedric responded that the nobles had average talents but there was a commoner named Kaelith who showed up out of the blue and made a splash in the tournament, now everyone knows his name. He asks for permission to initiate a friendly battle with him and cripple him in the process. What he plans to do is let the MC have the first attack on him in the duel, but use an artifact subsequently after to chain the MC. The artifacts only condition is the first attack from the person being chained must be dodged with complete accuracy before it can be used. This is to prevent people with lower talents from imprisoning higher talents using the artifact. Unknowingly, Cedric has a loophole for this with his dodge talent. When Cedric chains up the mc, the mc reveals his system momentarily to get out of the situation by morphing into Erebus since he has no magical power and the chains only work on those with magical talent. Once unchained, he switches back to kaelith and burns him to a crisp. Author I will give you another character next chapter.

no