This is an interesting romance fantasy. It has an intriguing plot. While the summary sounds like it's dark, it also features humor so it's worth a read if you're looking for a fun read.

I like the use of the Spanish language here. I wished the same was done for the Cantonese dialogue in the previous chapter. I suggest stating what it means so that readers will at least understand what the character was saying, even if Gyun wasn't supposed to. As for your question about the length, I think the ideal for web novels is 1-1.5k words. I found it a bit of a challenge when I started, but it helps filter out unnecessary scenes, highlight important details, and better control a story's pacing.

I like the action scenes here. Gyun reminds me of a cold, vengeful lead character in an action movie.

I appreciate the detailed descriptions here. It makes it easy to visualize what's happening. The dialogue are pretty good too. It compliments the tense atmosphere in this chapter. There's a lot of complex sentences composed of several dangling participles, and they don't often sound like complete sentences. They also sometimes make the sequence of events confusing. For example: "Resealing the box, he stepped to the dresser, grabbing a...jacket" Is he resealing the box while stepping into a dresser at the same time he's picking up a jacket? Or did one of those actions happen first, followed by another? Using simpler sentences can iron this out. That will also help avoid the overuse of commas.

Should "move loud" be "move out"?

I had a feeling this would happen. Unfortunately for Mae, her sheltered upbringing made her less wary of things like this. She was more concerned about keeping her pride and dignity - which being called "Misfortune Mae" stripped her of - so she left for a place where she naïvely thought things would be easier for her.

I love how realistic Mae's character behaves here. She's still in shock, but she needs to adapt to her new situation so she does what she thinks she has to do to survive. Her emotions are still weighing heavily on her, and the fact that she doesn't have the skills to properly adapt to her situation makes her feel worse. She doesn't know what she's doing because she is yet to properly process the things that happened to her.

Wow, either the father was naïve like Mae or he has so much confidence in their family's privilege that he thought saying his daughter unwittingly stole the urn would get them out of trouble. Poor Mae either way.

Ooh...that escalated quick! Why do I feel like the charming man Mae fancied had a hand in it?

I love the creative approach in delivering the descriptions in this narrative. Are the underscores marking a character's internal monologue?

I really don't want to extend this further, but I wasn't pertaining to witchcraft and wizardry when I said "artifacts". I meant items of cultural or historical interest. I am aware that witchcraft and wizardry exists in many cultures. Like I said in my first comment, there were only three things that made me wonder about the setting's association to a particular country: the food (which I'm okay with because nowadays it's available in various countries), the sauna (which I'm also okay with because it exists in a lot of countries and cultures), and the "ahjussi" (which strongly hints an association to a specific country). "Ahjussi" can just mean "Mister" in English. Using the Korean equivalent hints an association to the culture. If "Oji-san" was used instead, I will think the setting is Japan. And I'm sorry if my comments upset you - that was not my intention. I shared my questions out of curiosity, and my suggestions in hopes of helping you. You have every right to accept or ignore my feedback. I'm cool either way. I'm grateful for your clarifications!

I see, then I suggest you be careful with using words or artifacts that are strongly associated with a specific culture, unless it's supposed to imply something about the setting. The food and the sauna are okay, but the "Ahjussi" (a Korean word) can strongly imply that the setting is related to the country.

I mean if there are underground places that do this, it's not too far-fetched to have pills available. There are a lot of herbal concoctions developed for this purpose either because abortion is too pricey, or its illegal. To be clear, I posted these comments under the assumption that it's a Contemporary Romance - a story set anywhere after the WWII . But based on your responses, it's more of a Fantasy story. I'm sorry for misunderstanding the setting.

I hope Jiya doesn't suddenly throw her under the bus or something after being kind to her. Inaya's been through a lot already.

I guess this makes sense if the setting is Korea since their legal age of consent is 20.

I'm so confused. Korean saunas (jjimjilbang) mostly allow a 24-hour stay. Some guests can negotiate multiple nights, but offering a week outright as if it's a temporary shelter? FISHY

The gimbap made me wonder if this world is set in Korea, but dropping the sauna and ahjussi made me think it's really in Korea. Abortion in Korea was decriminalized in 2021. Is this story not set in Korea after all?

Exactly! The procedure was over the top. They must have scraped it off when they didn't need to because they're not medically trained and certified doctors. Sheesh

I'm concerned about the procedure she underwent. I didn't think she would need something so intricate with the state of her pregnancy. I hope this world invents an abortion pill if they're going to keep abortion illegal and dangerous.

WAIT! Are they going to do this on their own?! Aren't pills enough since they're still a few weeks in?