Daoist2Ixbeg

Someday when I grow up and become a real author, I want to write like you. Seriously.

😨 Scary!!

Very captivating story. I look forward to reading more.

I know this type of relationship. We all say we would never accept it, but when it happens, it's little by little, and the days aren't always bad. Then, sometime ten years later, you are mentally spent, financially dependent, and wondering why you feel suicidal. Most women blame themselves. It's not their fault they fell foe the physical embodiment of Satan. Their love is a master of deception, and they just wanted love. So sad.

She should run from this man. He's a classic narcissist personality. Excellent character development.

Fabulous close door scene, enough to tell the action and leave the rest to the reader's imagination.

Very professionally written. Excellent intros into the mind of the MC in the preceeding chapters. No superfluous words, just enough to move the story along. Bravo.

Gorgeous setting description, I can see it through your words.

Ooh. This is a great set up!!! Can't wait to read more.

Overall, I think this is a good start. I liked the flow of the story and the set up for drama. I would have liked to see some character descriptions a bit more prominently to get an idea of these characters in my mind. Additionally, introducing several characters at once makes it a bit confusing for your reader. Chapter titles with the name of one character and their interactions can help with this. You can unfold their story and really make us love or hate them appropriately. I did love a lot about your story and will keep reading. Great work author!