Aura,

TFTc

Demeaning

Eyes 2 times.

Lovely! TFTC.

Savouring her anxiety, he took hold of her arms, firmly, and removed her top.

emphasized isn't the right word. Try something more descriptive. also from, Luiza gave a cheeky litt... should be in a separate paragraph.

Her eyes squinted into a crescent moon, slowing... also, better to break the paragraph into 2.

Let's Read.

Thanks Love!

Thank You Love

Aight, chapters was good, thank you for baring with my nitpicking and poor grammar, and all, a piece of advice tho, avoid using the same word twice in the same paragraph, if you can't think of anything , you can always look for synonyms in Google and such, imma write the rest later, as of now TcFT and good luck. You can ask the rest in discord.

Suddenly, two gunshots resounded from Ray's behind and the bullets pierced through his ribs. Staggering from the sudden numbness and pain, his pursuit halted and he crashed head first on the ground. He moved his face bearing the pain and through his paralyzed body, and uncontrollable agony, he saw numerous people donned in black suits appearing from every possible corner of the house.

Recognizing the owner of the voice, Ray's face spun to it direction of the voice which had just echoed from behind. And there, standing at the gate was a face he was all too familiar with, it as none other then Sam, a devilish grin plastered on his below avrage face, clearly confessing himself as the cause of this tragedy.

"Would you look at that, I think this is the first time I've seen you cry." A sarcastic voice pierced through the silence which was previously dominated by the sound of tears falling on the cold hard floor of the entrance.

Lying in front of him were here his two little daughters and wife. Also it would be better to split paragraph into 3 for app users.

Ray thought as a subconscious smile pulled at the corners on his face/lips and he walked up to the house. Slowly at first but more and more it become rushed, though silent as ghosts in the dead of night, he came to a stop right in front of that familar door he yearned for. ("sorry couldn't help myself T_T.*")

As Ray walked down the familar/vaguely familiar (depending on if he comes often or not.) street, he saw a house situated just a the corner, illuminated by its interior lights.

Why not add* wish I could edit my messages but hope you don't mind my grammar.