Pretty clean story for a new author. Two problems for you to tackle though. 1. The decisions in the story are made too fast. One would usually expect panic. 2.It lacks depth due to the lack of details. You should fill the reader with more detailed explanations, no one will be mad at you for it, but that doesnt mean you should give too much information as it both removes mystery and limits imagination. All in all, it has some potential, if you continue at this pace, your book will enter the new ranks in no time

To be honest, the writing style is incredibly impressive. It only lacks two things, you need to learn how to write high paced enganging fight scenes and your writing lacks... i dont know how to put it, emotion? Make your charcters do what an actual person would have done. More depth, human like or relatable decisions and personality, then it would be perfect.

Its not because your never said anything false. You give gave pieces of the pie

I dont think he literally met his physical body. The longer spent there the slower his brain would react to any situarion because of fatigue. His body bwcoming heavy could just mean fatigued

Im very sorry dear readers,unfortunately a glitch happened and i frickin lost the first 17 chapters of the story because of a glitch..i will try to start releasing as soon as possible and i hope you can be patient...