Foxhound562
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It's a love/hate relationship when it comes to how he sees his friends.
As for the life support, it's up to the next of kin, which happened to be him.
The reason for him being hypothetical is due to him feeling indirect survivor's guilt. Combined with depression, it makes things that seem illogical, logical in his eyes.
You did read it correct the first time. Rather than him reflecting on how she felt, he talks about himself. Taking into account the previous paragraphs, it's meant to show that he's selfish and self-destructive.