TheCalm_One
Just your average person who likes to live.
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TheCalm_One23dbình luậnTook you long enough! You did reflect on some of my past points but I still think that you are only focusing on the characters and the environment surrounding them is lifeless. Try to explain the place where the characters are. If you want an example, you can read any page of lord of the mysteries and see how cuttlefish makes the environment more alive by adding background characters yelling in bars and local places, explaining the environment, air, forest, inns etc. Though I don't expect it to be on the same level as Cuttlefish, just try at least. You had a great opportunity for it when the mc was riding in the carriage but you missed it. This imagery is very important for a full fleshed novel.
Ch 27 (27) Training camp [2]- TheCalm_One1mthcông bố
I have only read upto ch 14. Thus, these are just some of my suggestions and first time thoughts. 1. The Story is well better than most isekai stories present on this platform(I expect nothing less from a lovecraftian story) 2. The world has not been introduced much yet and I expect it to be above average. 3. The writing quality is below average but there are not many grammatical errors. It is really simple and feels like it is thrown right to your face. I suggest you try to explain some of the scenes more vividly using examples and add more impact using vocabulary( use in moderation ) 4. It's been 14 chapters and yet I have no idea, how the mc's room look like. Try to explain the background more. It will increase your word count. 5. You can also add some philosophical ideas here and there to increase the word count. If you work on some parts, it can turn into a pretty good novel. I can guarantee it and please don't drop it
- TheCalm_One3mthbình luận
Author, I hope you will not abandon this novel like your other novels. I sort of enjoyed it despite some minor plotholes like how Regis was able to read and write despite living in slums(which might have a reason which you will explain in future chapters) and how Regis survived when he was unconscious during second awakening because he had to kill in a minute and he was unconscious for quite some time
Ch 24 Potential - TheCalm_One5mthbình luận
You really like the word tapestry.
Sách này đã bị xóa - TheCalm_One6mthtrả lời Moonaisy
bro you should have added it in a bracket. it would have lightnend our mood. Comedy is always welcome
The dead one had already finished the story. - TheCalm_One6mthbình luận
queens bridge? or some other place?
Noah finally managed to secure a scholarship and he even won a monetary reward, so they could move from their small apartment in Queen to something bigger. - TheCalm_One7mthbình luận
Doreamon
Aurore nodded and took out a fountain pen and a note from a hidden pocket in her beige dress. - TheCalm_One7mthbình luận
I would've uninstalled life at that point😂
It must really feel bad to see your friend who has lost his memories get a better rank than you. Ah, Poor Reyan. - TheCalm_One8mthtrả lời Naphulae
Thank you for the info, dear Author
His first impression was that it was plain. Gastronomy wasn't that developed in Hierapetra, and they greatly valued austerity, despite their opulent architecture. The dinner meal comprised boiled quail eggs, grilled fish with legumes and olives, some type of round bread, and cheese. There was also a tray of fruits, mainly figs, raisins, and pomegranates, as well as a half-filled cup of wine. - TheCalm_One8mthbình luận
Frank Lee 2.0💀. The real main character of the Forsaken Sovereign
"It'll always mend itself from damage as long as you pump it with Mana! Oh, I haven't introduced myself, have I? I'm Ilana Avi-Hai, the leader of Gonnos' branch. You can call me Ilana if you want! You're the first Shadowbinder I met. Can your shadow materialize indefinitely? Can it be used as fabric?!" - TheCalm_One8mthbình luận
Why did they add wine to a child's meal?
His first impression was that it was plain. Gastronomy wasn't that developed in Hierapetra, and they greatly valued austerity, despite their opulent architecture. The dinner meal comprised boiled quail eggs, grilled fish with legumes and olives, some type of round bread, and cheese. There was also a tray of fruits, mainly figs, raisins, and pomegranates, as well as a half-filled cup of wine. - TheCalm_One11mthbình luận
Bro raised a flag like it was independence day 💀🤣
"I really do wish this would last long..." - TheCalm_One1yrbình luận
fool?
For a fleeting moment, Laemno glimpsed an august, ashen throne with a regal entity sitting on it, wearing a crown carved with the sigil of a silvery eye. The rest of its features were lost in the shadowy fog, vaguely resembling the shape of a human, yet it oozed the solemn wisdom of an immemorial being, befitting the stature of a ruler. - TheCalm_One1yrtrả lời Haethanwrites
even after 19 years! Anyway, thank you for your response dear author
Đoạn này đã bị xóa - TheCalm_One1yrtrả lời Haethanwrites
Corruption at its finest in India😂💀
Đoạn này đã bị xóa - TheCalm_One1yrbình luận
if a slice of chocolate cake is ruined, then you are ought to get revenge.
I mean, how childish could I get… I was about to punch her because she knocked over my piece of chocolate cake. - TheCalm_One1yrbình luận
Bro is acting like a pro genie😂
"So, tell me, once again, what do you want for your gift?" - TheCalm_One1yrbình luận
-_- Ignis is like," I don't know this lunatic. I am just an innocent bystander commoner."😂
The soldier and the rest of the people shivered, some even cast a gaze at Ignis, who was gazing at the engraved ceiling, acting as if he did not know Valerian at all. The soldier knew that he will not be able to take this pain for long. He shook his head and said, "I will tell you, I will tell you everything, just give me a quick death you devil."