Yesnth

Eh, it doesn't really matter in the small instances like this. Though, the phrase 'let there be light' is a powerful one, symbolizing the big bang or at least something at the level of a creation myth. In my opinion, it would be better to save that for a skirmish against the big baddies of the verse. Can you imagine how cool it would be if the Itarims tried to invade, and then Adam pointed at the void and spoke, "Let there be, light." insantly lighting up the entire void? AURA!

Eh, that's the bare minimum a fight needs to be visually appealing. I won't bother reading a fight Sequence if it's boring, it doesn't matter if it's for a side character or what. Also, bit much? That's only one more sentence. It isn't excessive at all.

that's not a premise brother. A dragon ball story can't reach a conclusion or even go anywhere from where it stands. It's the reason all the 'saiyan' mc's get reborn in other worlds. As far as plot goes, dragon ball continues on with simple battles.

I mean, what would even be the premise of a dragon ball fanfic? I honestly can't tell.

Things are getting somewhat hectic now. But it all ought to turn out well in the end. A happy ending is how fairy tales usually end, right?

See, parts like these are what makes the fight feel bland. It feels somewhat like exposition. Everything is plainly laid out without any flavour. It would have been better if this guy's reaction was also written out. Like, "Venin attempted a retreat, but as he attempted to move, shock overtook him. His entire body seemed filled with lead – his muscles were unwilling to listen, frozen into place as if he were a stone statue." There needs to be a healthy blend of reaction and real time information relay. Readers aren't satisfied with pure action anymore. There's a certain rhythm in which the action needs to be told.

Get well soon author! Thanks for the chapter!

I love how absolutely smug Rhine is XD