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FarmerOfBrilliance

FarmerOfBrilliance

Lv2

I'm a young boy tryna get famous.I hope i have talent for this :)

2021-07-04 đã tham giaGuyana
169.6h

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24
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    this is glorified RI fanfiction

    Ch 1 BEGINNING OF THE PURSUIT
    altalt
    Tainted will
    Huyền huyễn · EvilGrandpa
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
     công bố

    Nice idea.Too many grammatical errors, improve on what you have and it'll be a fine piece of work. Hope you keep uploading.............................

    altalt
    Super Thief
    Kỳ huyễn · Justin_Gabventure
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    review this paragraph too much 'and' and put a full stop (.) before 'Everything.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Super Thief
    Kỳ huyễn · Justin_Gabventure
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    All the maidens in the Empire had their eyes on him. He was a young married prodigy, just shy of reaching twenty-three years of age when he settled down to start a family with a mortal woman.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Super Thief
    Kỳ huyễn · Justin_Gabventure
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    His father was a good man and many people knew him

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Super Thief
    Kỳ huyễn · Justin_Gabventure
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời NotJelatinone

    ill check it out

    Ch 2 Magical Recovery
    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    They should do something more ant-like.Maybe clapping their mandables together to replicate clapping sounds to show they agree would be more fitting.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    If you gonna make this an proper novel about ants then you should change your vocabulary.Its no longer children as that is a word that is used for humans.Brood is the name of the children of ants

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    The speech shall commence seems redudant.You could say that its a meeting,a council?

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    I got up from my half-slouched body. I think u should see the problem there. A more appropiate wording would be My half slouched body got up

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời beansthethird

    ahh dont make me feel bad beans.I took the bullets out.I only shoot blanks XD

    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời Omali_Bart

    :D:D i'll work hard

    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời Omali_Bart

    I'll fix it right away

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời Omali_Bart

    bro u scared me when i read this didnt expect you'd do it

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    trả lời beansthethird

    thank you for the response beans hehehe

    Ch 1 Countdown & Arrival
    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
     công bố

    when I read this chapter I felt confused.Don't know if this is a result of me reading fast,my intelligence or you.You are very grammatically correct which is more than i could ever hope for on this site.I dont really get where the plot could go from this chapter.Your pacing is just fine.Didnt feel too slow or too fast. But this is just the first chapter my misgivings can alwasy be concluded by you hopefully you continue to improve on your work and keep on going. Bes of luck to you!

    altalt
    In the midst of it
    Thành thị · LJ_Wynn
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
     công bố

    Shameless author review.If you got a problem with it,let it seeth in your soul and read my novel to extinguish that fire.If you are here I implore you to leave your reviews(only good ones tho XD)jkjk.Still tho please support ,give power stones,share with your friends. If you read this far Thank you!

    altalt
    DROPPED NOVEL
    Du hí · FarmerOfBrilliance
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
     công bố

    This novel has potential if the author slows down more and puts thought into his scenes. Currently the novels feels like a speedrun which is very tiring to read.I hope u succeed in ur endevours.I gave u a five star rating because there is no use in putting down an author.Less than that will only negatively impact u.Anyway nice work hope u keep it up

    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    An ant queen that doenst love her children is intresting.Im a still a little confused due to fast pacing.

    Ch 3 The Plan
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail
  • FarmerOfBrilliance
    FarmerOfBrilliance1yr
    bình luận

    I can feel inspiration from chrysalis,might just be my misunderstanding tho.Also what is the general setting of the story is it a cave or something?I dont know if i missed that

    Ch 3 Dungeon Dive I
    altalt
    Ant Society
    Kỳ huyễn · An_Average_Author
    detail