Knobbly_Fishboi

Why does this remind of this song?

3rd person is often better than 1st person, the problem is the repetition of the characters names constantly saying what they are doing. This is better in your latest chapter, but in many sections it still feels like someone is telling me the story instead of me reading it. Most authors get better at writing with time, and I feel that you have definitely improved so far. I think if you keep going it could get a lot better, and 1st person is generally less popular so it's best to try and work on what you have already written. That and getting some editing tool to improve errors would greatly help you.

The 3rd person is very prominent and makes this extremely difficult to read. Basically every line starts with the characters name and then proceeds to explain what that character does or says. It is almost similar to reading a script. The grammar is also just generally not great, though that can be improved. My main critisizism is the way the story is told to you instead of you experiencing. It's like this character did this and said that and felt that way. The writing should express that, but leave some room for interpretation instead of being so closed. Hope my ramblings make some sense, this is intended to be constrcutive not cruel.

I think the Wasp turned into a caterpillar and the healing bugs still exist. The wasps haven't been mentioned in a while.

Is he going to find the Horcrux early?

I swear I've only seen this gif referenced in the weirdest ways

Not sure how relevant that is, my main point is that the Weasley Family Vault only had 1 Galleon and 58 Sickles. Given 500£ = 100 Galleons in this book, that's pretty bad.

Well the story would lead us to believe that some random shield agent managed to track her just using the internet before the foundation found her, so the foundation somehow should not even know where she is at this time.