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yukisnishika

yukisnishika

Lv1
2020-09-12 đã tham giaGlobal
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  • yukisnishika
    yukisnishika4 years ago
    bình luận

    Nice backstory for the childhood friends! But suggestion; if you switch pov I think it's more effective if you let the reader predict whose pov they're reading onto and just not putting *insert character pov* in the beginning. It can add to the feeling of anticipation from the readers and add flavor and excitement once you reveal who it is.

  • yukisnishika
    yukisnishika4 years ago
     công bố

    At first I thought it will be an isekai but it wasn't so that's a relief- anyway, there's some grammatical errors here and there and it just needed some little fixing so we're good. The plot is intriguing and I like the timers littered around as well as the mystery of the phenomenon that is happening with the MC. Kinda fell flat with the girl friend tho but that's just from my taste, I guess? Also feels a lot like a big introspection but the way the MC interacts with his surroundings definitely saved it. Kinda feel for him in the latest tho (yea those zigzags will also be the death of me) also, Dyne is cute- that is unarguably true xD