xHelios

Yikes… translation is decent, but that’s the only thing this fic has that’s good. Story is edgy typical young master Chinese mc with a mix of transmigration I believe. If he is a part of Konoha this entire time why tf would sakumo not recognize his own ppl???? What kid would be out there in the middle of the night to save kushina and be a part of a different village??? This is so stupid lmao, writing drama for the dumbest reasons even though they’re both from konoha.

This… is very rough. Grammar needs a ton of work, it’s barely passable. A lot of abilities are in here from different anime because gacha, mc wants to save the world and inherit uchiha madara’s will just because, with no explanation. He’s 19 and still in high school for some reason, a lot of things aren’t explained in this story, zero context for anything. Mc is terrible(as in bad character development), so many conflicting things that happen with him, and also no info to speak of either.

You gotta stop milking these chapters man, the word count is low asf. These 11 chapters could’ve been combined into 2-3 chapters, no bullshit. If you can’t even write a 2k+ chapter(and that’s just the AVERAGE amount of total words for any writer), how do you expect ppl to care enough about the story? Your story summary was interesting to me, which is why I started reading this. But I can only read so far with mediocre word count, and having a word count chapter ESPECIALLY doesn’t do you any favor at all as a writer. Don’t be expecting stones and shit with subpar skills. Be better.

Why’s the chapter so short?? Don’t tell me author that you just milking the hell outta this fic, for stones and shit. Only those with 2.5k+ words per chapter can do that. This is honestly lame

This is just a weird oc with Meliodas powers, timeline don’t make sense, and author is bringing in other characters from seven deadly, but they’re basically oc’s as well. Grammar is average is hell, mistakes every couple paragraphs. Little to no character development, time skips and get no context in regards to the outside world. There’s a whole weird fate thing between him and teach for some reason, but it was explained horribly. Needs a ton of work and a rewrite for sure, because the beginning was not it. Barely anything is explained.

So you saying you want him to be able to have natural counter abilities and simultaneously have a devil fruit power plus haki to satisfy your op wish fulfillments??? Authors that write fics like that are so trash lmao, pulling abilities from 5 different animes just for it to be awfully written. It makes no sense

Well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions lmao. I never liked Vi but I understood her character and actions, astoundingly dumb as they were. Idk it’s just something bout hard headed ppl that bother me I guess lol

This needs work, I’m 90% sure this is a translation cause the English needs help. A lot of chapters written when it could’ve been done in 3 or less. Character interactions and dialogue are cringey asf or bland ass statements. There is no marine corp, or Star marine corp, that’s how I knew this was bs. Wouldn’t recommend.

This fic seems average if you like crack fics and author narration every couple paragraphs, but this wasn’t it for me. Grammar is kinda passable, also having to make a word count chapter drops this even lower in my eyes. If you’re bored you could read this.

Idk if this is a mtl or just ai written but it’s not good. I love the idea of the story, but all these unecessary descriptions for every little thing is making me so apathetic and bored outta my mind. There’s a whole chapter about an interaction with a farmer, his dog, the mc, and his Witcher mentor where barely anything happens, yet somehow the words are typed as if you’re trying to just fill a page with nonsense and word count. Good idea, terribly executed, needs a rewrite tbh.