Well get strong fast or shanks can kill u Miles away

fck finally they are such a cheating bitches i dont know why people love them poor spidey get cucked by every women and god damn gwen cheated him with fxkn norman osborne and got 2 kids .... God and they as why gwen....

Well he will have a big impact later on he doesnt knoe anything about HP world .... but everykne have a different taste its k

....

this one better for reading imo

well if you think everyone wct like retarted when see something new you are deadwrong.... this is how you want him to be not everyone gona like that kinda people like i hate that kinda people and simps but i still read hoping to you get better

One piece "World Goverment"....

Your loss probably best HP Fanfic

its all started with tiktok slowly burns whole world iq...

OP af i like it :D

+1

he used ice acidflame healing factor 3 kekkai from start aftrt that all the light speels are kekkai genkai he have 10 11 kekkai genkai its too much just use warrior and roqur spec and chakra from naruto for jutsus it will be k too much skills its really too much for naruto world

MC is like a robot or i cant feel emotions of characters in this fanfic Like a bunch of robots trying to com. Still not bad if you can fix it it will be good

its ok then i get it wrong sorry. I wish you good lcuk and get better with time good day

No one is your enemy so chill out you asked at end of chaptet for opinion why your ranking getting lower as a reader i told my opinion maybe im right maybe wrong dont try too hard to defense your wiew just accept different opinions it will do good for you ....

its okay but you focused too much on OC and side stories 120 chap and we are still at start no progress 5 6 chap marine it could've been 2 msx 3 and same goes that valen chap too much focus its killing the focus its not wrong but you coul'vr change POV in the middle to Vlad then some pages then go back to side characters and stroies You made it so that almost 10 11 chap without MC its plain boring thats why your ranking low from other OP fanfics Im not saying your story bad ita quite the opposite quite well detailed but too much focus on side characters without MC it will bore people good story keep going

Its not story is bas but you are wasting too much chap about some nobodies 2 3 chap that we will never see or only see 1 or 2 mwntion. You are focusing on side story and missions on ao much that main story didnt progresses he fer captured and run to his kingdom and thata it this one piece about advwnture and emotions not kingdom building with somw ransom nobodies Focus on MC and progress little bit faster you can docus on more important side characters after you go meet original OP characters not some random OC Belive me nobody wanta too much OC characters on fanfic it will kill the joy that marine arc juat torture same goes for valen too much focus it should at most 2 chap otherwise it will beboring like this Good atory but ypu flex too much

You are wasting too much on side characters or side stories and generally this kingdom arc OP is about sailing fighting passion im not saying this is not good but you are focusing on this too much it geta boring

a cool spear will do amazing things with a power like destruction it will slice and destroy anything like paper A cool looking spear will be perfect :D

You are forcing this too much every event doesnt have to have downside sometimes he can have some pure wins... You made him look like loser everytime he look useless with no character other then learning magic