Derek_Morales

Where's the next chapter !!!!!

The writing and character development are well thought out, with the story showing great potential. The grammar and overall flow are smooth, making it an enjoyable read. I'm excited to see what the author has in store as the story progresses.

Deep down, everyone wants a loving family, so that point doesn't need to be pointed out. The problem is that MC has 2 lives with abandonment trauma. This makes their views on life and relationships simple to predict. They will either clingy to the first person or group that show him affection and acceptance, or they will self sabotage every future relationship they have going forward in life because they believe they do NOT deserve to be love, until they gets professional help. The first opinion can lead to 2 out come. Firstly, he finds people who truly care about them and all is well. The second is, unfortunately, the most common outcome, and that is, they cling to toxic individuals. Usually, because they confuse lust and sexual attraction to love and acceptance. They stay in these toxic relationships because after being abandoned and finding someone who wants them, they find it nearly impossible to leave said relationships where confuse love with lust. Which unfortunately usually leads to abuse.

It's forced because, statistically, those who have parental abandonment trauma like MC react in two-ways. They either self sabotage any future parental relationship (in-laws usually) or any relationship in general, believing something is wrong with them and that they don't deserve to be loved. Or they cling to the first person or group that show them any affection. Which is Rosalie and her family. This is fine when the person they are clingy to are good people, but when they aren't, it ends very badly for them. As they usually get an impulse it seek their approval so they are not abandoned again, and I don't have to explain how toxic of a relationship that quickly becomes.

They are only cold and detached because they haven't reached their breaking/exploding point. NOT because they can't react explosively. And nothing triggers an explosive reaction more than the cause of said trauma. Plus, it doesn't need to be yelling or breaking things. Statistically, most people would have a panic attack.

That doesn't make any sense because he is a vampire who has not only two lives worth of memory but 3(the memories of the martial artist), plus whatever he got from Alucard.

Rosalie has shown him familial love. So he would have made a bond with her

Idk way you made the MC change the way his character would react throughout the story so far. You made MC strong and confident, and someone who hid his emotions behind humor. That would suggest he would have blown up and walked away or made a joke about her trying to fit something already broken, not this weak abandoned kicked puppy. Then there is Rosalie inviting his mom to shop when she knows how much his parents hurt him. If I were the MC, I'd begin distancing myself Rosalie for that, even if she was my mate.

Rosalie

Upjumped is a word, but I think what they're trying to say is that while "upjumped" is a word and used correctly in the story. It breaks the flow of the sentence, making it weird/awkward to read, and that "upstart" would be a better alternative.