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Wowthatsalongname

Wowthatsalongname

Lv3
2019-08-01 đã tham giaGlobal
33.1h

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2022

Đọc sách

Huy hiệu

6

Khoảnh khắc

46
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    bình luận

    100*100*6 = 60,000. :/

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Using Modern Weapons In a Fantasy World
    Kỳ huyễn · GLC00
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời Wowthatsalongname

    line break between the "man continued" and the ""blah blah blah"" part.

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời doodlyy

    I like how for me the author comment was the comment at the bottom of the entire list. XD

    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Kỳ huyễn · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Pretty cool, but two big problems: -The story is Very infrequently updated, like 6 months long updated, most of the time I question if it's dropped or not by the time the author bothers to upload a chapter. -The story is a bit of personal insert MC, and a power trip of the authors.

    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Kỳ huyễn · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời doodlyy

    ...

    Ch 17 A Kind Little Lad(?)
    Undeath Emperor In Another World
    Kỳ huyễn · doodlyy
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    What can I say, but the fact that this has been dropped so long I don't remember what the story is even about anymore, and that the story was removed so I can't even tell you what this used to be about, all i remember is that the story used to be pretty good though, don't know why it dropped?

    Cybor
    Du hí · HaloHalo
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời Wowthatsalongname

    I meant to say that the chapters are a bit too long, and that it's a trial to get to the end of them sometimes, Sorry for the mix up!

    Mysterious Death Emperor
    Tranh châm biếm · MadamArc
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Great story, except for: the fact that it's dropped, and that the story is a bit all over the place, and that the grammar is a little bad, and that the chapters are just short enough to be annoying for me but not enough to lower the story by a star. Other than that, 10/10.

    Mysterious Death Emperor
    Tranh châm biếm · MadamArc
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Great story was dropped, now sad. other than that, 10/10, though you could use a bit more spaces, and not a wall of text for every chapter. Story is great, Characters great, world is explained enough to understand the story, but could use a bit more explanation.

    The God of Exp
    Kỳ huyễn · TrueGodOfExp
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời Polaris123

    lol

    Ch 24 Unexpected Gain
    The God of Exp
    Kỳ huyễn · TrueGodOfExp
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    I feel like the author perfectly describes what happened in his Explanation chapter. But in case you didn't read it for some reason, he dropped the original because it was a mess, so kudos to you author. At least you try to fix your mistakes, unlike most authors.

    Adventures of Amnesia
    Kỳ huyễn · ShadowQuill
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Was great, author dropped it, i think he started again but i just don't want to re-read all of the story to refresh myself on the story just for him to drop it again. But other than that, it's a great story, go read it.

    Death with benefits
    Thành thị · DreamingSAGE
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    trả lời Silently_Reading

    true.

    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Overall, it's a good story. I am only here because the author asked for some criticism on his novel. So here we go: -Put some more spaces in your walls of text. seriously, it makes it hard to read for me. -A little faced paced, but within an acceptable range. -small grammar mistakes, but not enough to stop or interrupt the flow of the story, in my opinion. -Just binge read it so I can't comment on the update stability really. -Story seems rushed, and a little... Unrelatable? try putting some more depth to the characters, some emotional pizazz is also in need here. I would put some more stuff here, but I just couldn't find motivation to read more of this.

    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    bình luận

    Advice: -if you are going to change the survivor count, change all mentions of it, it provides a point of dis-engagement as the world changes inexplicably outside of the notice of the reader. -The knights can be desperate, but if they take random kids off the street, they aren't knights, they are just soldiers. knights would recruit only adults and put through training Before travelling with them and getting into combat.

    Ch 2 Asfáleia
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    bình luận

    Try putting lines and spacing out the conversations, instead of walls of texts. For example: "Blah blah blah" said the man next to Rei, Rei turned as if in acknowledgment as the man continued "blah Blah Blah"

    Đoạn này đã bị xóa
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
    bình luận

    So, some advice: -Try to flesh out the conversations, even in the first chapter I get the cardboard cutout slide show feel from this. -Get rid of the lines, they act as section breaks. In a story that's supposed to flow smoothly till the end of the chapter, it makes it short and choppier. Try using transitions, for example describe them riding, even so far as to make a conversation while they travel.

    Ch 1 The boy from Viel
    Draga of the Vanguard
    Thành thị · Critical_Kind
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Great quality, Dropped, Story was progressing could go a little faster though, Characters were vaguely 3d could use better conversations, World was in depth.

    Werewolf Progenitor Chronicles
    Thành thị · SoySauceSovereign
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    Great Quality, Dropped, Story was going places, Characters were in my opinion well developed, the world background was great, but there weren't enough details.

    UnderWorld Mafia System
    Thành thị · lllDarkCloudslll
    detail
  • Wowthatsalongname
    Wowthatsalongname2yr
     công bố

    good story, Dropped harder than a brick. Other than that, it was a good start and very good potential. Of course, this was written with 12 chapters in so if there is more, they might've picked it up again.

    Deadliest Mercenary in the Commonwealth
    Khác · Author76
    detail