UndeadProgenitor

Can see English is not your first language and that’s fine. Remove the “once upon a time beginning” it’s a bit juvenile and no Japanese names “unless you yourselves are Japanese or is a setting for the story” it’s a bit cliche and not very creative. Work on the conjugation too, you started the story in the past and yet you went to say “are” somewhere. All of that is just from me skimming over it. Good luck on your writing journey you’ll get better.

When’s the next update?

I also apologize

Get off my meat friend

No need to be so cringe bro. Ik this is wn but come on

That’s related to his story cause? The guy was fighting for his life throughout the whole story and that’s your issue?

Drake shoulda retired after that

Tell me, do you move? YOU WILL! Ahh moment…