Kari_Chan

So you want me to correct or you don’t? I am not trying to annoy anyone so please be clear🥹, thanks

I haven’t been correcting anything in a while 😀

I actually fixed that thank you

Girl he’s both keep reading 😂🤣🫣

Thank you

Oops I accidentally deleted that

Well, I’m glad I noticed it and it’s OK if you can’t reply to every comment just as long as that helps you edit. And you’re right on one thing I have a whole list of peoples books I was going to read and review, I’m happy I stumbled upon yours. If anything else you would like to ask me as well you can just text me from Facebook of course.

I have been reading your novel, and I quite like it. The story building is beautifully written, and how you describe areas around your characters very good. And I actually quite enjoy the conversations between Linda and Caroline with Eric. It’s quite entertaining to read. I would advise you though to write more dialogue, then description to make the book more alive just like someone once told me. One thing you should be more concerned about, is the pacing in your story. I understand you were trying to build it up by chapter 13, which I noticed. But I felt that it could have already picked up when you mentioned about the skull on the door. I can’t remember which chapter it was I believe it was five. But that alone sparked, some interest. There could’ve been more done with that, by building it up from chapter 5, then hammering down with more action between chapters 13 to 18 if you wanted.

I see you fixed it here with the twins dialogue good job

Caroline stared into my eyes