But don’t let my criticisms get to you, this story is so good that the most I can do is nit pick

A little heavy on the social, but I guess that’s mostly what we’re here for. I wish there was a few more casual mementos runs, and palace infiltrations run a little bit long, it would be great if they were like 15% shorter. The romance is great, fantastic, keep doing what you are doing. The mystery is intriguing, but you are a bit obvious about a lot of things, so I would say either give up on the mystery and just reveal things, or stop having characters drop so many hints. The Elizabeth chapter in particular revealed a bit too much for how early it is.

Ahem… she’s 14

Maybe regular people can feel that “something” is there, since personas are much more powerful and noticeable than Morgana speaking and Ren’s eyes. But it could be like hollows in bleach, invisible, but *felt*

Tartuffe is Nyx confirmed?

I think you mean ‘back from killing Kaneshiro’

Taro Tanaka?

I have read further over the past few days, and can definitely see an improvement in the areas I complained about. It’s nice to see more team building aspects which were rather lacking in game, and I also really like how you introduced Madarame. Proactively introducing palace owners is much more engaging than just stumbling upon them like in the game. Also, introducing Futaba early was really cool, and I hope the same will be done for Kasumi! 😁👍

The matter is transmuted into the persona. As for why they wanna transmute money specifically? Well, the will to live leaving your eyes is a necessary ingredient

I think the inclusion of doc personas could be very cool, but they would have to be earned, like after the fights with the p3 and p4 protagonists, or during the events of PQ2 if you include that

First off, this is an outstanding persona fan fiction. Before finding this, I was tempted to write one myself, but this is better than anything I could put out. I am only on chapter 16, but It has a very interesting take on Joker, and the plot follows just closely enough to the original that you can see a more in depth look at cannon events, but not feel like it’s just a copy and paste of the persona 5 story. Now onto my complains, of which there are a few. First off, the pacing is breakneck, it is incredibly fast, the entire first 3 hours of the game is condensed into 5 chapters, and that speed leads to my next complaints, which is the characters. They are faithful to the original in terms of personality, but it feels like they good from just introducing their names, to suddenly being best friends. Ann and Ryuji are barely introduced, than are immediately shown the palace, and then by the next chapter they are all hanging out at the gun shop. It just has a very weird feeling, because they had barely had a conversation, and now are acting all buddy buddy. Aside from that though, this is a really good fanfic, 9/10 would recommend, just gotta get used to the whiplash from the pacing, I might leave a comment if it gets better.

Even better

Waoh new chapter

The background is different and the eyes on the right are slightly looking up

Sauce?