Nitorxs

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What/who is this?

Not minding the comments and writing how you plan to is probably a good way to handle this as an author and may be the best way forward for the story in the long run. You know the long term plan for the story way better than we ever could and can see how a conflict fits into the story as a whole. What I'm trying to describe is my experience as a someone new to your work. Fanfiction is very much unlike a traditional book. Long plot lines in fanfiction are resolved over the course of weeks or months instead of hours, so it's much harder to push through things we don't like. We're essentially beta testers for your book while it's still being written. While you may have a long term plan where something is resolved in a super satisfying way, we don't know that. All we can see is something happens that we don't like, nothing is done about it and then we have to (generally, not specific to you) wait somewhere between days to weeks for the next shot at resolution. If that carries on too long without some sort of hint towards the future besides "Keep reading" it will have an impact on new reader retention. "Keep reading" generally only works as a motivator to push through if you've already established trust with your audience. When games have long beta windows where they open up every weekend over several months, the successful ones will at least push out some small tweaks or changes just to show that player concerns are being heard and something is being done about it. They don't have to rush out huge system changes before they're ready, they just have to do something other than make promises of a nebulous, huge patch in the future. That's when players get frustrated and lose interest in the game. Once again, this is your story, write it the way you want and in the way you think will be best for it in the long run. I'm trying to give possible advice about managing reader expectations/reactions for the story's long term health. If people have a negative reaction to a situation that is going to be resolved later on, you may want to at least show hints of discontent from your characters, something that says, "Yeah, I'm not really okay with this either," so we know something is coming. It may deaden some of the impact of that big, future resolution (but probably not very much or at all if done correctly), but it will help to keep people reading until it happens.

So... this story is technically well-written. Grammar is basically flawless and the story is coming along fine, still kinda in the beginning period where they're establishing backgrounds and introducing/building conflict. Maybe a little too reliant on flashbacks for my taste, but that's a personal preference. My main issue with this story comes from the interactions between the characters. The relationship with women seem pretty shallow or not currently fleshed out, which I can only attribute to the use of flashback sequences to build background. The relationship may be super deep, but we don't know that because all the development happened offscreen in the past and hasn't been introduced yet. The MC is built up as some legendary figure but his exact powers haven't been full explained. In fact, one of the first things that happens is he's told that he's not allowed to use most of them and then gets scolded like a naughty child. His reaction is pretty dismissive and a little petty, but he seems to be cowed as soon as the Captain-Commander (who definitely won't be winning any grandfather of the year awards) threatens his wife. This continues to happen and he continues to just kinda take it. I, personally, don't like that approach. I feel like constantly threatening your loved ones should be past most people's bottom lines for acceptable behavior. It doesn't really matter if you believe they won't follow through or that it was a family member that said it, that just feels like it's going too far. Nowhere has the MC been shown capable of instantly being by his wife's side in order to protect her, so I can only treat that as a legitimate threat. The MC being repeatedly cowed by those threats, without really pushing back or trying to change the situation, just seems inconsistent with his established character. The guy who tells the ruling body, "Nah, you can deal with your own problems from now on" isn't letting that go. Also, it's a little disorienting for Soi Fon to be accepted as the MC's third wife after being together with the MC for, I believe it said, several decades in one chapter (that also reveals this to be a polyamorous harem, instead of a polygamous one) to turn around and LEAD THE GROUP HOLDING HIS FIRST WIFE HOSTAGE right after. To me, that just shows she shouldn't have been in the harem to begin with, her loyalty obviously lies elsewhere.

Nah, there's a difference between "not messing around" and going waaay too far. Threatening his wife is too far. That Soi Fon is going along with these orders is kinda disgusting. It feels like, except for Katori, nobody is actually loyal to the MC. He's been built up to be some legendary figure, but he constantly let's everyone walk all over him and just goes along with it. It's getting to the point where the only satisfying resolution would be for him to just flip the table and drop anyone who prioritizes their duty to Soul Society over him.

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