TheSIothKing

Renowned*

Threatening*

You’d *have* already died. You’d is a contraction of you would, so without have, the sentence is; you would already died. You could also make it; You would already *be* ^dead^[was died].

Miraculously*

Alright, I’m 11 chapters in and the author asked for reviews, so here goes. There is minor problems with spelling so far, with the first few chapters being almost perfect, but the last few having one or two words misspelled. Nothing major, but I have noticed that readers have pointed them out in the paragraph comments, some as old as a week ago, and they are still there. So room for improvement, but better than 90% of WebNovel books. 8.5/10. Not going to say much for update stability, since it is currently a newer book and chapters are released consistently (for now). 10/10. The story, while compelling, hasn’t gripped me yet. (Minor spoilers) I don’t really care about his ex girlfriend or his arch enemy, and outside of the book being from the MC’s perspective, I can’t find myself rooting for him at the moment. There isn’t anything making me want him to win. Again, it’s early days (chapter 11) but I’m not immediately gripped into the storytelling, at least from a character perspective. 6/10. As with above, the characters have not been fantastic yet. I’m cautiously optimistic, but for now, they are merely outlines in a sketchbook, sans colour or flair. 5/10. The world is where I give this book brownie points. The author has pulled me in to this story almost purely on the back of worldbuilding. Giving me just enough to be interested, without making the next 5 chalters be purely info dumping. Room for improvement, and if I was the author I would be careful about power creep (a couple items and abilities already have the dreaded 200% or 300% bonuses), but I’m a sucker for a good VRMMORPG story. 9/10. I am going to continue reading, and I will try to update this review as I go, but I’ll probably forget. If anyone is interested in my updated opinion, hit this review up with a comment and I’ll see it then. TL:DR pretty good, minor improvements needed. 7.5/10 or a solid B.

Extra quotation mark at the end should be removed. "

FBI, OPEN UP! Seriously though. Focus on your own strength first, before gathering others.

While* typo to replace “wjile”.

Any chance the author will go back and fix the grammar issues? They always manage to ruin it for me. Takes me right out of the story.

Rock*