Sun23

Thank you very much!

I love the description! With how bad the years has been, this is like what reality looks like now.

There should be another single quotation mark at the end, unless the next sentence is a part of this sentence. If so, the author just need to space it back together, so that it form one sentence, and not two separate one.

Suggestion one: ' The kingdom around it call the forest 'The Land Of No Return' because the deeper you go, the more dangerous it gets. Suggestion two: 'The kingdom situated around the forest called it 'The Land Of No Return.' Fore the deeper you go in, the more dangerous it gets.

No need to put commas between him and under. Instead, of using commas I suggest the author to use 'and' and then place a commas between voice and but.

'at the guardian' not sure if the author wrote it wrong, but should it be 'in the garden'?

The story starts with an interesting hook, it tug at my heart when the author wrote in great details about the emotions and desperations of people living in such a daunting life. And yes, what I say about the hook is good, but in regard to the score I given I felt that the story can improve. First and foremost, the writing quality, it's good, but need a lot of attention. There were sentences that needs pronouns, and some that need to be reworded. There were two to three words that I think the author has miss spelled. Also commas and quotation marks that are needed and aren't needed is a common issue I found. For the author, I point out two to three issue I found with comments in the story. Contrary to the writing quality, I gave the story development, and character design a four star because the story is still in progress. There wasn't much information given regarding the main character. Yes, there were a bit of description about the main character and his living situation. But I felt like I need more information to grasp the characteristic of main character; his personality, actions, emotions, skills, etc. all of which that makes him the protagonist of the story. As for world background, it's a bit different from the character design. There are details, but a bit vague. Chapter one seem to give reader an insight of the story setting, but at the same time also throw a bit of mystery. It kind of makes me want to rush the author the release the more chapters. I really want to know what kind of world is this!......I read the tags, ahem was not prepared to see that it is different from what I expect, lol. Author that's not the way you describe it in the story! I thought is was a war-fantasy kind of world background. Lol, well then I hope that the author will updates more and further explain the world background in future chapters. All in all, a good read. Author, continue on with the updates! I gave you a five for that [img=recommend]!

The story starts of with an interesting hook, creating a mysterious riddle to be solve. I don't want to spoil anyone, so I'll minimize the amount of details from the story. But in regard, to the mysterious riddle I'm talking about, one should look at the end of the prologue. I assume that the author is trying to say something regarding this character dead. When I was reading the story, I felt that the writing quality can be improve. There were a few commas that I found to be place in the wrong place or does not need commas at all. Aside from that, transitions-wise, and spelling looks good. As for the reason why I gave four stars to characters design, and world background is that there's not a lot details regarding these topics. First, for character design, Even thought the author did gave out some details regarding how the main character Kaylee look like, I feel like it was a bit lacking. But I'll say that for Jazz, her action and the way she talk made me think of Regina from Mean Girls. And for others characters so far, I know that it might take up a bit more time for the author to get to the plot, if she try to describe every characters. But I think the author should, for those characters that are essential to the story. However, one thing that I would say about the emotions presented in the story is that it is very good! Great descriptions! As for world background, I didn't know that it was going to be a werewolf plus modern setting until chapter 2 title. I think it would be good for the author to at least, somewhere in Chapter one explain a bit about the the werewolf world for those reader that are new to the genre. In overall, good story! And for the author: You are doing great! Happy writing!

I think the author did well in developing his/her characters. But I can see some room more improvement. I think a bit more description than dialogues would be good. As for writing quality, I did find in two to three sentence that I feel can be reword differently for better reading flow. Other than everything seem fine. In regard to world background, like I said before more descriptions is need. I would love to know more about the story's world. Since there's a princess, will there be magic, any magical creatures, or interesting settings? As the story is still in progress, I think from the latest chapters so far, the story is good. It's also going at a good pace, not too fast or slow. Also of now, with the latest chapter in, I see a cliffhanger occurring. Can't wait till they switch! And last words of encouragement to the author: You are doing great! Keep writing awesomely!

I think this is the first time I read a novel that have good spacing between paragraphs, and italic words! Author, whatever magic you did, do tell, lol?! Well, then first I will talk about the writing quality. Which in this case is definitely not an issue. There's little to no grammar mistake. But I did find, one to two sentence that sound kind of weird. I think it's just the way the author worded her/his sentence. As for world background, somehow, I was expecting more information about it within the first to three chapters. But it took awhile, in chapter 11 and onward for the world background to become clearer. As for character design, I think the author did threw the reader, me, in a scramble. Since at the beginning the author did not use the main character name. Instead, the author use the term 'woman' to refer to the main character, and even her face is cover. But I assume, the author did it for reasons such as suspense, mystery, and for later purpose. Onward to story development, the pacing is not fast nor slow, except, for the romance...lol, I think for me it's kind of slow. But I feel like the romance is not a big part of the novel, just sometime to sweeten it. As for the main focus is probably on the main character, Scarlette's past as the author obviously stated: "What is the secret behind her name" and her journey. Lastly, update. I didn't see the author note in comment or synopsis his/her schedule. Which I think will attract more reader if the author does have one. But in overall, great job! Keep up the good work! Fighting!