try writing more dialogue in your story as its just the character narrating the things that happened and the time skip was too much and the details are too little the character development is to forced you should add some conflict so that the story is not just another op character story or if it is an op character story add more interaction between the mc and the other character in the story.

Love the way you made this story integrating elements from multiple series into marvel while still having good world building and reasonable story line five stars for you.

yo dazo wasnt expecting a vtuber to appear

hope you pass mate