AngelsCreed
I like all stories, but biased against female MC Most of them have some sort of 18 scene which just feels weird from my view I like cliches told in a new perspective so never really a cliche for me.
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I think the premise of this story is cool and i enjoyed reading it! As a comment, I think you are a great writer and i want to challenge you in a future novel to really get the creative juices flowing. What i saw in the novel was basically kishimoto’s naruto plus one AU. Not really enough change to show that this work was unique. To be clear, you made quite a few changes but you never really explored the impact of them. Haku/zabuza lived what happened to them? Naruto had a friend growing up what really changed? Sasuke had a rival growing up, what changed? Sakura went to med nin training what happened to her? How did this 5yr old kid get access to high level seal knowledge without the hokage knowing? I think if you spent more time filling in the holes and less time focusing on canon plot, it could be game changing. One way to get yourself to focus on that would be to stop writing in canon timeline, choose a different period. Could be interesting. So for the above reasons, you get a 3 star in story development , 5 for everything else since its basically kishimoto naruto
I think the og author of this story meant kotoamatsukami not izanagi? Really no reason for izanagi to affect dan since izanagi can only be used to rewrite the users fate not anyone elses
Nice!