Trying to find meaning after reincarnation

I have been deeply hurt, I can not stand it any longer and want to end my life, but before me, lies a very majestic cat that is just sitting there staring at me as if it could see through all my sorrows and hurt that I have been through. Before I could sway the cat to come to me so I could pet it and give it some food, a truck seemed to have other ideas and sends me underneath the truck tires, having my legs and arms turn in ways not humanely possible and blood drenched all over me and the floor with some guts out and about as I gasp for air and try to breath and not lose consciousness, time seemed to stop as the cat slowly made its way toward me, as I gasp, blood rushing to my throat to be spat out trying to tell the cat that it is not safe but come as I am losing myself. As my life flashes by me, and I try to think how else could I have lived my life differently if the circumstances were different and if I had done things differently, Could I have also enjoyed my life? could I have been happy and be able to push through it without medication to stabilize my mood and other such thoughts? I am unsure how I should have lived. As I am thinking about all of that, this beautiful cat just comes up to me and rubs me....I....I...I don't think I deserve this type of love and affection, I am unsure what I could've done to receive such things from such a outrageously cute cat, the cat although has a very nice vibrant colors on its fur that have never been seen before and stary eyes, I wasn't scared, but rather relaxed, unafraid of my impending death and as my eyes were closing while enjoying this joyous moment, a voice could be heard. "Would you want a second chance in life again if you could restart it all?" Although I couldn't speak, I tried my best, but with all the blood gushing out, it sounded like gurgling instead, "If I could restart with something to aid me and perhaps not be bound by world....I would." I said to the voice