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This Isn't Canon! (Or that time I reincarnated into an AU-Naruto)

When one reincarnates into the protagonist there are often two reactions. Glee or overwhelming terror. For her? There was not one shred of fear. After all, of all the Shonen protagonists, there was one above all that could so easily become broken in their setting with just a little effort. Sadly, it appears as if that Golden Thing that she had surprised had already thought of that, and so much more...

BalancedSelfInsert · Tranh châm biếm
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109 Chs

Bedroom thoughts

Snuggled up into bed with her curtains drawn Naruko would think and reflect on the day. Most of it was spent in training, but there were still quite a few important bits. She fully expected to at some point be called to Sandaime's office and also expected quite a few questions. But, luckily having managed to awaken the Mind's Eye of Kagura through the power of being the most bullshit character in existence, she was clear on that front. Know how many people were near her? Mind's Eye of Kagura. Know the barrier only looked for chakra? Mind's Eye of Kagura, with some good old Uzumaki Fuinjutsu bullshit. Called out ANBU? Mind's Eye of Kagura!

No, the real issue was going to be the fact that she had recognized one of the ANBU's voices and was quite noticeable about it - that being Raido. Otherwise known as one of the three people in her new dad's Guarding Platoon, and also one of the people he personally trained. Yeah, that was going to be a problem.

If there were people to realize someone was off, it would certainly be what were essentially her father's hidden students who had apparently taken up the duty of guarding her.

But! If necessary, she could always pull another bullshit card. 'Yeah, my dad is inside of my soul.' Is always a good way to get out of trouble, and also a way of threatening people. 'Sorry? You threaten to kill me? Okay, Dad come out!' So, yeah, worst comes to worst she had a literal tactical nuke inside of her, well, two.

Did that make her a double Jinchuriki? 'Stop, stop getting distracted! Bad girl!' clutching one of her pillows tightly she inhaled and focused back in on what mattered. 'Overall I'm fine. No one's going to actually think I'm a plant or a spy, it would be literally impossible. Re-sealing something like the Kyuubi would have every sensor across the world going haywire. I can trust my instincts on that. Even looking at myself with Mind's Eye makes my brain want to scream, let alone the full Kyuubi. The worst that would happen is the old man gives me a stern lecture before trying to give me old-man puppy dog eyes to tell him what's up.'

Dragging her nails across the covers she focused in on something else. 'What do I want done for training before I have to go back to the academy? Tree-walking completely mastered is obvious. Same with Water Walking. I'll have to push the Leaf Exercise on top of those two as much as possible there as well. It'll be important for future Rasengan training to be able to maintain multiple streams of chakra. As for jutsu...' Going through her memories for a little bit she shook her head.

'No, Henge I'm already good at and just mastering the Chakra Control exercises will bring my usage of it far beyond Genin level. Clone Jutsu I simply will never be able to do without absurd chakra control, or being able to do it hand sealless. The hand seals amplify my chakra too much while using that jutsu. As for shadow clones... I'll scam it off the old man or one of my guards. No one is going to actually worry about my safety with the normal Shadow Clone after all, especially if I decide to explain WHY I can't use clones, which honestly, should have been blatantly obvious to anyone with any understanding. Naruto fans have only known about it for like two decades after all!' 

Giggling a little bit to herself at that, her feet would start twisting up in the blankets. 'Any other training? Mhm, Rasengan is too early. Too much at once. Chakra Chains I have literally zero knowledge on how to do it. Wind Element? Eh, can do it in class as something to focus on instead. Besides, without spamming hundreds of clones it'll take a bit, albeit I won't be able to do the second stage for obvious reasons. Then I guess that just leaves Taijutsu.'

Thinking back to all the different Taijutsu scenes in both the Manga and the Anime, a mad giggle would escape her. 'So many fanfictions where you find some super complex Taijutsu. Yet the outright best user of Taijutsu no matter how much people would scream at my audacity for saying so... Has fought the same exact basic way throughout basically his entire journey in hand-to-hand combat.'

It was obvious, when you looked at Naruto fighting people that mastering the basics was what was truly important. Not fancy moves, no. In the end when it comes down to it, Naruto in hand-to-hand combat bar the Pein fight - fought pretty much the same when he wasn't using Jutsu. What was different at times was the mentality. 'So. Flexibility, Endurance, and Sprinting. No weighted strength training till I find a doctor that I can trust to give me actual knowledge on if I can do so. Which means either the Old Lady, scamming Kabuto, or some Root Doctor. The only people I could honestly trust though would be the Old Lady or a Root Doctor - Danzo wouldn't risk me ever being crippled, no matter how idiotic he can act sometimes.'

Having thought things through she'd finally close her eyes getting ready to bed before something struck her - something she didn't remember ever being explored. 'Is physical training supposed to be done in battle mode or not?' Indeed, something relatively unknown to the common fan, and something she had completely forgotten about before gaining younger-hers memories. Shinobi and Chakra wielders in general had two modes. A 'ready' and 'not ready' mode a 'I'm going to beat the shit out of you' and a 'I'm eating Dango' mode. The difference between them was like the difference between Bruce Banner and the Hulk. 'One would assume a mix of both? But how, and why?'

Shit like this is why teachers were important! Actual teachers, not Chunin licensed to teach you how to do simple arithmetic and how to throw a kunai! 'I'll have to bug someone about it. The guards won't talk while on duty, the Shinobi in the building are here sporadically and quite a few don't really like me. Ugh! I'll think about this later!'

Pulling the covers over her head she began to try to fall asleep, 'One Kunai to Kaguya's Skull, Two Kunai to Kaguya's skull, Three Kunai to Kaguya's skull...' 

A few minutes later she was out like a light.

Bit of a boring chapter, but I'm writing this having not slept since a few hours before "A prank a day keeps Danzo away" and wrote this specifically because I saw how many collections this story has already :D First non-me power stone as well!

Anyway, if I decide this is TOO unhinged after I wake up expect some edits.

Please do comment! I'm always open to answering questions and taking feedback.

Also yes, Baryon Mode Naruto does in fact use the same combo against Isshiki as he did against Sasuke when he was like 13.

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