Chapter 5- The Wave Mission Begins

"Finally! I was getting so bored with all those stupid D-ranked missions... And after having to deal with my stupid family picnic, I'm ready to leave town!"

Ino was the only member of the team that seemed happy with the idea of heading out of town. She was fired up, and ready to go. Plus, she really wanted to see Naruto get into a serious fight, or something… That way, she'd have even more to swoon over about him.

Kakashi was antsy, as there were less support mechanisms in place (i.e. none) outside of Konoha to help one deal with being Tsukiyomi'd. He didn't want his first visit to the Kyuubi to be one where he woke up in the middle of nowhere afterwards. He would just have to try doubly hard to avoid Naruto's gaze.

Naruto was both pleased and displeased. He was satisfied with the idea of finally having a challenge, no matter how slight it could be. He was unhappy with the idea of accidentally breaking his cover, which was more likely to happen on a mission out of town. And he was confused as hell about Sakura's 'bloodline'. Just being able to withstand his Tsukiyomi didn't seem to be much... There had to be more.

Naruto had attempted to extrapolate on what the bloodline could be; knowing that it somehow enabled one to operate through a Tsukiyomi. The best he could think of was some form of super genjutsu defense. This would indeed be a very valuable bloodline, especially if bred with other bloodlines.

'Now… I must discover how to activate it or trigger it. Unless she already knows, and just chose to never reveal it? That is, after all, the ninja way…'

And Sakura was worried, nervous about her own capability to pull her weight. Ever since she had that weird nightmare, and awoke in the woods, Naruto had been acting oddly around her. Perhaps he knew whatever it was that caused her to forget how she got out in the woods (and ended up naked, too). Especially because her Inner persona was acting rather strange of late... She was being even more outspoken about Naruto then usual, demanding that Sakura attempt to get 'even further' with him. As far as Sakura knew, she hadn't gotten ANYWHERE with him, so she wasn't quite sure why her Inner phrased it as 'get even further'.

"Team 7, your mission will be to guard this man. He is a bridge builder from Wave named Tazuna. You will guard him, and ensure that his bridge gets built. The mission ends when the bridge is built. You will stay on until that happens. You leave tomorrow morning."

Tazuna, who had just walked into the room, looked over his newly hired team. He had been briefed by the Hokage to do nothing that might agitate the short blonde one, but hadn't been told why. The kid certainly looked professional, even if he was a midget. The two girls with him, though... Tazuna was nervous.

They didn't look very useful at all.

Before he could say anything, though, Kakashi patted him on the shoulder.

Tazuna hadn't noticed Kakashi, with how he had been standing. Kakashi had stood against, and facing, the back wall. Tazuna had just assumed all he was getting were the three midgets, with how Kakashi seemed to be purposely ignoring them.

Of course, seeing Kakashi's face didn't put him at any more ease. The man was wearing what would one day be known as "Groucho Glasses"... The jounin certainly made an odd picture, what with his facemask, forehead protector covering one eye, and a pair of glasses with a fake nose, mustache, and eyebrows attached.

Even though Kakashi did his best to reassure him ("Don't worry, I'm a Jounin. Anything they can't handle, I will.")... It didn't help very much.

"Did you hear? HE's going out on a C-rank mission!"

"Really! How long is he going to be gone?"

"I heard at least a month!"

"You serious?"

"Yup."

"PRAISE THE LORD!"

"I gotta go tell Mizuki!"

"I'll go get the rest of the group together!"

And word quickly spread of Naruto's eminent departure.

And, unsurprisingly... There was much rejoicing.

In fact, in all of Konoha, there was only one person (outside of the fan girls) who was actually unhappy at Naruto's leaving.

"But... How will I divine fate without his technique?"

Yup... Neji will have to spend his time actually acting out his 'future', instead of trying to find the silver lining that might eventually form in the shit-storm that his life seemed to be.

"Neji! Have you completed the 2000 pushups?"

"Uhh, not yet... I mean, no Gai-sensei! And if I don't finish, I'll, uh..."

"How about ya go get a manicure, 'Neji-chan'?"

Neji turned to glare at Tenten. Tenten, after making the comment, just tossed her kunai down in disgust and turned to leave. Gai had the good sense to just let her go, seeing how angry and moody she had been of late.

She had at one time had a massive crush on Neji. He WAS the class genius, and all that. But now... After seeing how he succumbed to the Green side of the force... She could barely respect him.

After all... Now he not only wore the green-spandex, but he also wore his hair up like a woman, and wore quite a bit of makeup. Tenten didn't even want to contemplate some of the other things he had done recently... Some of them were even more disturbing then watching Lee and Gai hug in the sunset.

Luckily for Tenten, she had left early the one time that Neji had gotten involved with THAT scene.

So now Tenten was out to find someone new. Someone better. Someone she could crush on without losing all respect for herself.

'And I've also got to find that Naruto kid again, and ask him to change Neji back to the way he was... This is just so damn wrong.'

It was bright and early the next day, with Team 7 and Tazuna trekking out in the woods. Kakashi was still wearing his Groucho Glasses, as they had (unlike most) managed to survive the whole day. Kakashi thought that they might be lucky, or something.

Naruto walked next to Tazuna, and did his best to ignore the girls' chatter.

Of course, that's when he spotted the puddle.

It was an elaborate ninjutsu/genjutsu hybrid technique that would have been a highly useful technique- if it had rained anytime recently.

'Perhaps Haruno will be able to see through it with her bloodline?'

So Naruto turned around to see how the two girls reacted to the puddle.

All he saw was Sakura stumble into the puddle, 'splashing' the two nin inside it around painfully.

If he had been listening to the girls' chatter, he would have known that Ino had pushed her towards the puddle after Sakura made a comment involving Ino, pigs, troughs, and the manner in which her family ate at the picnic they had.

'A most potent bloodline, indeed.'

He was especially impressed with how surprised Sakura was able to act when the two ninja's popped out of the puddle, and threw a couple of Kunai at Tazuna. Naturally, Naruto caught the kunai, and swiftly Tsukiyomi'd the two nin... But not before he noticed Sakura standing firmly between the attackers and Tazuna.

She had merely frozen out of shock... But Naruto, who had already started interpreting her actions as those of a bloodline genius, took it differently.

"What the... Where the hell are we?"

"Heh heh heh... Seems the kid can't go anywhere without sending me playthings, eh?"

"Brother... I just have this feeling that we shouldn't turn around..."

"... So that's why I must build the bridge."

"Well... You DID lie to us about the mission parameters..."

Wheels were turning in Kakashi's head. He wasn't sure how to proceed, seeing as the rules would dictate that the team should turn around leaving Tazuna.

However, the Hokage had been very emphatic about the team finish the mission.

If Kakashi decided something that was to Naruto's disliking, there was the slight chance that Naruto might Tsukiyomi him over it.

Which was rather unlikely, seeing as Naruto firmly believed in the Chain of Command… But Kakashi was understandably paranoid about the whole thing.

Kakashi decided to take the safest route he could think of.

"Naruto... what do you think we should do?"

'Yup... He can't decide my decision was bad if I have HIM make the decision!'

Naruto could only see one real answer. Standard mission protocol said that one should abandon a client who lied about the mission parameters... But the Hokage had specifically said they were to finish this mission, no matter what.

That decided it for Naruto.

"The Hokage said we were to not come back until the bridge was finished… So we must continue the mission."

Tazuna sighed... He didn't know what exactly the kid had done to those two missing-nin... But it didn't look pleasant.

"... Do we REALLY have to do this? I mean, these lines make no sense..."

"You have no choice. Continue the scene!"

"... Damnit... Ok. 'Manos, God of primal darkness. As thou has decreed so have I done. The hands of fate have doomed this man. Thy will is done.'

"And maybe if you do a good enough job with the lines... I won't make you guys watch the movie. Maybe."

'Yes... It doesn't look very pleasant indeed.'

Each time he went to ask Kakashi about what had happened, Kakashi would shut him up. He would change the subject, cut the man off, and even at one point he had covered Tazuna's mouth.

He just wanted to know what was going on, damnit!

"Oh god! The movie is even worse then the script makes it seem!"

"Who the hell would ever want to watch this kind of crap? And why is that... thing's... kneecaps so damn huge?"

And while Naruto was out of Konoha, Konoha partied. Every bar was filled, everyone was out late, and pretty much every adult was drunk.

The village of Konoha was unable to accept missions for a full 2 days after Team 7 left, due to the fact that there were no available teams.

This, sadly, made the Hokage decide that if this was the reaction, he would never be able to send Naruto out of Konoha again.

Because at least it was able to function with him in town.

"I... I can't believe you killed that poor rabbit, Naruto-kun."

"It did not live in an unsightly enough manner... Did you not see its fur? It was white... That breed of rabbit isn't supposed to have White fur at this time of year..."

Before Ino could say 'Oh'... Naruto tackled her to the floor. At the same time, Kakashi yelled out to get down, while everyone else dived to the ground, too.

Because an enormous sword quite literally just flew by.

"Kukuku... Sharingan Kakashi, eh? Lowered to babysitting a bunch of little girls, eh? Why don't ya let me just kill the Bridge Builder, and get this over with quick? Because you clearly have lost some of your touch if you think that wearing those ridiculous glasses was a smart idea."

Zabuza had some flawed info, at the moment. The battle between the Demon Brothers and Team Kakashi was far too short for Haku, the observer, to get any real info back. The best answer Haku could come up with was that when the pink haired girl jumped in the puddle, she had injured the Demon Bro's too much, and they only managed to get some kunai out before they passed out. Quite the intelligent, and surprising, move, from what Haku had thought of as a useless little girl.

She didn't even consider the possibility that they had a meeting with the Kyuubi. After all, such an idea is preposterous, and clearly not the kind of thing one would immediately assume to have happened.

So Zabuza was unaware of the problem that was Naruto. Especially after insulting the kid, by lumping all the genin together as 'little girls'.

'I am not a little girl. Either Momochi Zabuza is blind, or he was insulting me. But no one is stupid enough to actually insult me. That would be suicide. So he must have just made a mistake. But still... I have to maintain face.'

So as Kakashi and Zabuza began their posturing, with references to the Sharingan and mass murdering children, Naruto stepped forward.

Kakashi, feeling the chakra that Naruto was drawing upon, immediately stepped back.

"Uhh... I think I'm going to sit this one out, Zabuza. Have fun with Naruto!"

This merely confused Zabuza.

'Huh? Why did he turn his back to me? And stare at that tree? Ah, well... Might as well take advantage of it...'

So Zabuza rushed at Kakashi, ready to skewer him with his Big Ass Sword.

Until, that is, Naruto appeared in his way.

And stopped the sword with a Kunai.

'What the hell?'

Zabuza was confused. So confused, in fact, that he voiced his confusion aloud.

"What the hell?"

"Hmm... Was that your rabbit from before? Because it is clear, that if it was, you do not live in nearly an unsightly enough manner to stand a chance against me. But perhaps, after this, you will loathe me enough..."

Both the girls squealed.

'Naruto-kun is being so bad-ass lately! Kakashi even said this guy was an A-ranked missing-nin!'

Before Zabuza could even laugh at how presumptuous this mere genin was being, Naruto flashed on his Tsukiyomi.

And Zabuza hit the floor.

"This is one fucked up day... Where the heck am I?"

"Oh, another mist-nin? Is the kid out in Water Country, or something?"

"What the? Who the hell are you- HOLY CRAP!"

The Kyuubi always loved appearing behind new people to the seal... Their reactions on seeing him were priceless.

He even had a booth at one end of the seal where ya could buy a picture of yourself at that exact moment.

And he always makes ya buy it.

'Oh no! Zabuza-sama!'

Luckily for Haku, Naruto would usually leave his victims be after Tsukiyomi-ing them. The reason being that Naruto felt that he had brainwashed them, and therefore, they forgot whatever it was he wanted them to forget.

Kakashi was a bit more knowledgeable about what was actually happening, though.

So he began to walk over to Zabuza's body, ready to stab it.

'I wonder what that will do to Zabuza's mind... Will it be trapped forever in the seal?'

Before Kakashi could kill him, though, Haku appeared.

After making his short speech about being a hunter-nin, Haku quickly made away with the body.

"So, uh... What happens now?"

All the ninjas turned to Tazuna, who was standing to the side.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Well, I guess we keep on going."

"You want me to do WHAT?"

"After how good I heard you were with kids, I decided that you should be the one to give my kids 'The Talk'."

"... You realize that I killed every single kid I knew, right?"

"And that's a problem why?"

"... How many kids do you have?"

"A couple hundred. You'll do it one at a time. And you must do it in a way that does not ruin their innocence. That's MY job."

"Why do you even bother fighting Gatoh? You won't win! He'll kill you!"

Team 7 arrived at Tazuna's place, safe and sound.

They were even greeted with a nice dinner made by Tazuna's oddly attractive daughter.

And then it was ruined by the whining of her young son.

"Look, kid... I don't know who else you've seen fight, but Naruto-kun here can beat anyone! Just by looking at them!"

Ino spoke up to defend her Naruto-kun.

Unfortunately, though... That involved revealing knowledge that Naruto was unaware that she had.

That being of his Tsukiyomi.

'I'll have to remove that piece of knowledge from her head, later. But first...'

"I do not know what you are talking about, Yamanaka-san. I am merely a genin, and could not possibly do what you just described. Perhaps Kakashi-sensei could. Dattebayo."

Tsunami and Inari looked at each other.

Tsunami shrugged.

Inari started shouting.

"It doesn't matter how strong he is! He'll still lose!"

And then he ran upstairs.

After a brief explanation from Tsunami about Inari's behavior, Kakashi spoke up.

"Well... We might as well go to bed. We're going to get up bright and early tomorrow, for some training. There's a chance that the Hunter-nin from before was not actually a Hunter-nin, so it's best to be prepared."

And with that, Team 7 went to bed.

"... So where do babies come from again?"

"... I hate my life."

"... So our training is running up and down trees?"

"Yup. Now get to it!"

The two girls, not really convinced on the effectiveness of such a training regimen, followed after Naruto, and picked out a tree. A tree they began using as a tool to break the laws of physics.

Kakashi sat off to the side, reading Icha Icha.

And in a tree a couple trees over, Haku hid, further continuing his spying efforts.

The training didn't go completely smoothly, but it went well enough.

"Ino! Sakura! Stop falling off on purpose, or I'm going to tell Naruto not to catch you anymore!"

Little things like that made the training go a little slower then it might have.

But then again, Zabuza would be even wearier this time around.

(FLASHBACK!)

"And then ya put your kunai in the girls... Huh? I'm awake? PRAISE THE LORD!"

Zabuza awoke, from his apparent slumber, back in his villainous hideout.

He was lying on his bed, with Haku seated next to him.

"Err... Haku... Why do you have a notepad and a pen out?"

"Because you were talking in you sleep, Zabuza-sama."

"... What was I talking about?" Zabuza could only feel dread... He had been purposely putting off having the Talk with Haku. He didn't want to be the one to have to answer all her questions... Haku was confusing enough already, gender wise, that Zabuza didn't even want to contemplate what kind of sexual screw-up Haku would end up as.

"Umm... Nothing. Nothing at all. Let me just go hide these papers from you now..."

Haku disappeared.

Zabuza sighed.

'Well, at least I don't have to give the kid the Talk consciously now... But I got to wonder, how much did he hear? I mean, with some of those kids... I went into pretty explicit detail...'

'Zabuza-sama is far more knowledgeable then I would ever have guessed! Now... Where am I going to find enough rope to do some of these things? And why did he keep on making references to foxes?'

(End Flashback!)

So training went for the next few days.

Sakura and Ino worked on building their reserves and refining chakra control by running up trees.

Naruto hung around, to ensure that he continued his mission of guarding the two. He also continued to run up and down trees, and his ability to do so depended on if he remembered whether he should be able to or not.

Haku sat in a tree with binoculars.

And Kakashi spent as much time guarding Tazuna (and thus, spending as much time away from Naruto) as possible.

Naruto was bored out of his mind, though.

It wasn't like watching the girls run up and down trees, get tired, and then start complaining about how they had to run up and down trees was fun.

So, after the third day of this, Naruto sent the two back early, saying that he was going to stay out longer to train on his own.

Oddly, Naruto had yet to catch Haku in the act of spying on them.

Mainly because Haku was staying very far away, and was constantly suppressing her chakra.

After Naruto spent some time taking his frustration out on a few poor trees, though, he passed out.

Mainly because he was using his recreation of Amaterasu on them.

It took him burning down 8 trees, and utilizing 6 B-rank Suiton and Doton jutsus to contain the fires afterwards. And the sheer amount of Chakra he used was enough to even make Naruto tired.

So he decided to take a quick nap.

'Now's my chance!'

Naruto awoke, a scant thirty minutes later.

He awoke rather confused.

For he was currently tied up.

Not tied in any manner that he immediately recognized.

It took him a minute, though, before he got it, and spoke his question aloud.

"Did someone utilize Shibari on me?"

Right before Naruto snapped his way out of the ropes, though, a voice spoke up.

"Yes... You see, I'm just trying to practice something..."

Haku stepped out, dressed in a pink kimono.

Naruto turned (as much as he could, with the way he was trussed up), and looked.

He narrowed his eyes.

He looked up and down Haku's form, who was quickly beginning to blush.

Then he spoke.

"Are you a man or a woman? I can't tell."

Haku suddenly looked extremely panicked.

Naruto flashed on his 'sharingan', to try to get a better look.

"... Even with these eyes, I cannot tell if you are a man or a woman..."

"Er... Um... Look over there!"

Naruto turned his head in the direction that Haku pointed. Haku made a run for it the second Naruto looked away.

"There is nothing over there... Hmm, that person seems to have left. Odd."

Naruto broke the ropes, stood up, and walked back to Tazuna's house.

"That was... odd."

"Zabuza-sama... One of the genin, the one who knocked you out, seems to have some form of Doujutsu. When he used it, his chakra start to feel... Malevolent. His eyes also turn red. At the very least, it involves some form of increased perception."

"Hmm... Good work, Haku. How did you get that much info about it?"

"Uhh... I heard him talking about it."

"Hmm... That seems rather foolish of the boy, to just start announcing stuff about his doujutsu and all... Oh, and have you seen what happened to our supply of rope?"

"...No..."

"Well, either way... Be prepared. We will attack soon."

"Hic... I think this has been the best week of my life.. Hic..."

"Me too, Mizuki... God, I haven't felt this relaxed in ages..."

"If only it would never end..."

"Bartender! Another round!"

And the partying continued.

No matter how much the Sandaime tried to control it, he couldn't really stop it.

Not that he was trying to stop it for Naruto's sake. The drinking and rejoicing was entirely justified, and the Hokage knew that.

No... He just wanted to have some goddamn adult ninja to work with! The only ninjas who were able to handle most of the missions of the last few days were genin, or exceptionally young higher ranked ninjas.

Sarutobi was sick and tired of having to explain how to do everyday chores to teenagers. Even teenaged ninjas were still teenagers, and they all whined far too much for Sarutobi's taste about stupid things.

'Sigh... I think I hope this dies down soon. Perhaps I'll have to explain to them what will happen if this continues... That Naruto will never be given a long-term mission again... But if I do, I might have a revolt on my hands...'

'Yes! While Uzumaki is out on that mission, I grow stronger and stronger here while training! Even if my sensei spends most of his time getting drunk, and my teammates spend most of their time goofing off... I'm still getting stronger!

'But... But it's not enough. I need more! I need someone to train me...'

Sasuke was busy, wandering around, while maintaining his inner monologue. So deep in thought was he, that he didn't even notice that he was about to bump into someone.

"Oh, excuse me, ma'am."

"... I am not a girl."

Sasuke stopped, and turned to look at the person he bumped into.

Hyuuga Neji was looking rather effeminate of late, even with the green spandex. It was an understandable mistake.

Before Sasuke could open his mouth, to either apologize or antagonize Neji further (it was probably the latter), HE was bumped into.

Or, more accurately, ran over.

"What the hell!?"

"Oh, my most sincere apologies! But I must continue my running so I can train more with Gai-sensei!"

At least Lee was polite.

'Wait... Did he say training? Maybe I can get this guy to train me, too?'

He had been rather impressed with the second spandex kids speed, and he definitely seemed to be pretty strong.

And agile, too, if he was able to run that fast while on his hands.

So Sasuke impulsively decided that if his own sensei wasn't going to train him... He'd find someone else.

And the first person to come to mind was this 'Gai-sensei' the boy who bumped into him was yelling about.

Author's Notes: And the Wave Saga continues! Konoha is currently unable to function properly, due to about 90 of adult's population celebrating Naruto's absence.

And it is entirely justified.

Sarutobi is pissed, though, and might not let Naruto out again if it means having to teach kids basic paperwork techniques. It's not that he likes tormenting Konoha by keeping Naruto around... It's that if he wants to get things done (like having his village take missions, or having people around to do his paperwork), he might just have to keep Naruto around.

Haku's gender issue was a complete accident while I was writing. When I wrote the middle portion, I didn't notice that I had accidentally used both gender pronouns to describe him(or her). When I reread what I had written, in preparation for the final snippet, I noticed. And I decided to run with it.

Is Haku a boy? A girl? A hermaphrodite? I dunno. And perhaps it will never be revealed in this story. But the kid sure does have a talent for Shibari.

Naruto has started seeing Sakura's actions through the rose-tinted lenses of a bloodline genius, so expect Ino to get jealous soon.

Much credit has to go out to the good people over at TFF. Many of the torture techniques that the Kyuubi uses comes from their suggestions.