webnovel

2. No one will believe me

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the sensation of many tubes stuck in me. The air around me felt cold, everywhere was white and I smelled the scent of medicine in the air. I groaned in pain as my senses began to return, which captured the attention of many that immediately hurried towards me.

"W-where am I?" were the only words I managed to choke out as I hissed in pain.

"You are currently at St. John presbytarian hospital. Do you remember what happened before you came here?"

As my vision began to focus, I could make out the people around me. They were clothed in blue, with some in white cloaks, and had gathered around me. As I connected the information I had currently, I realised they were doctors. Unfortunately, I had not recovered all of my memory, and some parts were still hazy.

"I-I jumped..." was all I could mutter before I got a splitting headache. I clutched my head in pain before I heard one of the nurses say, "Get some pain killers over! Patient is currently unstable and needs to be restrained!"

"W-what?" I mumbled out, before the pain was too much for me to bare and I blacked out once more.

I woke up again, and realised my mom was sobbing next to me.

"Mom?" I said, as I tried to probe her up. She was resting on top of me and it was putting alot of pressure on my stomach such that it was painful. However, I could not move. "Am i dead again?" I wondered. To my relief, my mom heard me and immdiately hugged me, meaning I wasn't dead. I looked at my body when she got off, and realised I was restrained.

"Why am I restrained?" I asked. I looked at my mom in confusion before she broke into tears again.

"How could you jump?! Why do you want to try to drown yourself?! If I am putting too much pressure on you, you can tell me! You don't have to..." She yelled before pressing her head to the edge of my bed and started sobbing once more. "Huh?" was all I could think of.

Over the course of a few hours, Mom stayed by my side to give me assurance while doctors, nurses and specialists came to my ward. I had told her it was not necessary, but she insisted in staying. I wondered what made her think I was trying to kill myself. My grades were usually decent, I had great friends, and I was almost just like any other normal child. I was, in truth, worried for our finances, but I made sure to use that as my source of motivation. I never really intended on leaving my mom behind.

Just then, another woman walked in, clothed in a white coat, and she greeted my mom before sitting on the chair next to my bed.

"Good afternoon. Before we begin, do you feel alright? To ensure that you feel safe in our current and future session, you are allowed to freely disengage at any time you feel uncomfortable."

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" I joked, to which my mother immediately snapped at me.

"You mean how are you alright?! You were out for a good week!" The doctor nodded before continuing, "Yes. Based on current investigation, you were talking to the railing of the bridge for awhile before you jumped in after. You were found floating on the river's surface by a passerby at five in the morning before being sent here. We discovered that your heart had stopped beating for awhile but you mysteriously remained alive. Then, you remained unconscious for about five to six days before comming to."

I was shown the camera footage from the bridge, and I must admit, I certainly looked delusional. It was like the doctor described: I was talking to a railing before I hesitantly jumped in after. However, I had a new problem now. with this as evidence, my prestigious college would definitely not accept me, on the grounds I am crazy, and I would certainly be diagnosed as schizophrenic! I would be seen as crazy!

"I-I..." I tried to come up with a logical explanation to my mother and the doctor so that they would not think I was ill in any way, before I said, "I was out with my friends - and I think I drank a little too much..." I smiled sheepishly hoping that it would make them believe me, but the doctor said, "The blood analysis determined zero amounts of alcohol present in your bloodstream that night." She rolled her tongue around her cheeks as she stared straight at me. She was definitely the serious kind of doctor. I hated those, they were no fun. I immediately stopped smiling as my face dropped. Will they think I also have memory problems now?!

"Please tell the truth, Miss Stephanie Miles, so that we can help you to the best of your abilities. It would be for your own benefit afterall." The doctor sternly warned. At this moment, I knew everything I said will be used against me, and I must be careful.

"I can garuntee you, I am not crazy in anyway. I was feeling a little light headed and dizzy, and may have talked to the railing because I am a little nervous about school starting and I talk to inanimate objects and myself to release that stress. I am sure it is a pretty common coping mechanism out there and it is perfectly healthy. As for why I jumped, I felt dizzy so I mistook my surroundings and thought of the water as my bed, so I jumped. Let me remind you, I am certainly not crazy, schizophrenic, delusional, depressed, or anything like that." I told both my mother and the doctor. I cannot afford to miss this chance to college, so I hope what I told them was convincing enough. They looked a little apprehensive, so I continued, "If you are unsure about what I said, or you want to confirm your diagnosis, you are welcome to give me psychological tests." Hopefully, that would allow them to confirm I am perfectly fine. I certainly cannot tell them I am doing all this for college, or they would never allow me there.

"Very well. Since you insist you are 'perfectly fine', I will let you stay another week to run some tests. If you do fine, I will certainly allow you to leave this building," The doctor, which I now confirmed to be my psychologist, said as she gathered her items and turned to the door.

"Also," I said, "Could I be released? Being restrained in this position isn't exactly comfortable. I prefer to lie on my sides."

"We will do so once it is confirmed you will be of no threat to yourself or others around you."

The door clicked shut as I clicked my tongue in irritation. I should have expected them to take a blood test before I said the 'I drank alcohol' line, and if I did, this whole ordeal would have gone by smoother and faster. Now, my psychologist is wary of my lies, and it might be harder to acertain I am sane.

"Are you really telling the truth? Then why didn't you stay home if you were feeling unwell?" My mother asked. As much as I wanted to tell her the truth, I knew she would have thought I was crazy, and would not allow me to go to college or leave the hospital. Instead, I would be sent to a mental one.

"Yes I am sure. I went because I haven't seen my friends for a few weeks so I missed them. Jackson already has a girlfriend, and Aster is usually busy visiting the other states due to her large number of extended relatives. Besides, I thought my headache would fade when I went out but apparently it didn't." I responded. My mother nodded and left the room after telling me to rest well and recover soon, as well as how Jackson and Aster will be visiting me tommorrow. As soon as she left the room, I felt more relaxed and at ease. I looked around the room carefully, surveying my surroundings. I made sure to act as nonchalant as possible, and like nothing was out of the ordinary. It was a hospital after all, and I am sure they would have cameras to survey me round the clock. As soon as I saw where they were, which was at the top left of my room next to the door, I tried to look for its blindspots, which unfortunately was only the toilet with doors closed. I sighed and closed my eyes in an attempt to sleep. I knew if I kept looking around, things would only get more suspicious.

_______________________________________________

Psychologist:

Based on my current knowledge and experience, I knew that that girl could very well be lying. Although it wasn't obvious, she did show some signs, such as maintaining strong eye contact, and not even needing to think. To most, it would appear as if she was telling the truth, along with her commanding tone, but the alcohol part put me on guard. Her strong eye contact wanted me to believe her, and she talked as if she had complete recollection of the events that occured even though her mind most probably wouldn't be clear until a couple more hours. But again, that was just a possibility. I needed actual evidence. I need substance to back my claim. The best way to tell? It was to observe her interaction with the environment. I watched through the security cameras her exchange with her mother. Most patients would definitely confide in their parents or trusted ones about the happenings around them. Then, it wouldn't take long to diagnose them. However, her mother appeared completely relaxed! That meant she either wasn't telling her mother what she experienced, or she was sane, which I had strong doubts so. I continued to observe her even when her mother left. She was observing the room around her, turning her head around as she was under restrains. As much as my gut tells me she is suspicious, this was normal behavior in the face of a new environment. Then, she sighed and tried to sleep. I understand her frustration. It is not easy to come to terms you may potentially be mentally ill...