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The Billionaine's Ex-Lover is Me

Tác giả: CuriousSiren
Fantasy Romance
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What is The Billionaine's Ex-Lover is Me

Đọc tiểu thuyết The Billionaine's Ex-Lover is Me của tác giả CuriousSiren được xuất bản trên WebNovel.Marie's life change 8 years ago when she successfully gave birth to twins, Maxon and Thalia. They were her light and joy after the accident which caused her to have total amnesia the doctor did say it...

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Marie's life change 8 years ago when she successfully gave birth to twins, Maxon and Thalia. They were her light and joy after the accident which caused her to have total amnesia the doctor did say it could return one day as long as is exposed to the things that she previously owned, but she was not from this small island in Greece, and no one knew who she is. The only reminder of her past is a necklace with her name. Despite that she lived an honest life working at a bakery owned an old couple who took her in when they found her. Marie lived in the small island happily with the twins but thing changed when she was found by her Mother.

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Dungeon Controll

Alex your average teenager with a twist. He is addicted to strategy and base building game. But not in a health way. Every single Game he played he became better and better. To the point of 0 loses on his Smurf accounts. But scared and shy as he is, he made a “fake identity”. One day on his school trip to the museum of lost artifacts. Your average Museum with a little bit of idea and ta bit of boring. The most attractive item of todays bucket list is. The destiny stone found in Egypt buried by sand. Interesting enough it entails a tale which magically translate when read by others. Interested he goes for a dip after being pushed by others to read it. After saying the last line, he vanishes. To never be seen again. Funny enough it became a hit by many spreading so fast it became a folk lore. That was the introduction and now comes the interesting part. Dungeon control is your average base building survival horror story with an extra. It comes from Arechnocadia one of my Projects and lives in the same multiverse. You will see Alex do stuff never been done before by others. It entails a system explained by the first chapter and history plus elements already known by many readers. It’s quite interesting if you ask me but be aware, I’m not almighty so if you notice some contradiction or just mindshit pls tell. Every criticism is great if it entails: 1. The problem 2. The solution If you enjoy the story check out my webpage "arechnocadia.com" and join the Project.

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milkyshe
milkysheLv1milkyshe

Hi, for a starter chapter, I'd say you did pretty well^^ I love the flow of the plot and where it's going. You captured the mood of the events unfolding effortlessly. I as a reader knew what you wanted to convey. However, for my unsolicited advice, it would've been nice if you added a little bit of "detail" before or while they did the 'thing'. Or as they say, the context. Just a bit, like you sprinkle them here and there just to let the reader be on their tippy toes and have something to spark their interest. Hence, it will make them look forward to. Then of course, grammatically-wise I say you did pretty well too. Based on your writing, I believe that you still need to improve your grammar. After writing, you might want to reread over and over again. But you have to rest of course just to freshen your perspective then proofread after, it really help when spotting a few mistakes here and there. And that's completely fine. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good, very nice and super amazing^^ for a first chapter. I love your writing style. Its's distinct but it's there.

OOBetha
OOBethaLv2OOBetha

Nice effort but too many grammatical errors

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