Self-love Artist

HI, I'm Damon . . .

Every day, I awoke just as I had done for the previous two years of my independence. Walang bago, puro pabalik-balik lang. Simula noong napili kong umalis sa puder ng aking mga magulang, natuto akong tumayo sa sariling mga paa. I decide for my own safety, decision in life, and everything that I want and what I need to do.

I learn from my mistake. I assess my everyday failure. Make a solution, and grow. I learn and teach myself alone. I don't care anyone else to tell me what's right from wrong. I already know that. Quick tips before I take the shower; don't bother put yourself to someone's shoes. It won't fit. Bye–Oh, mamaya na ang pangalawang tip, kailangan ko nang maligo. I'm about to be late for class.

*****

"TODAY, we are going to talk about self-love," said our old professor. He's quite intelligent and has intimidating aura when talking in front of the class. Kaya effective ang learning namin dahil sa taglay niyang maawtoridad na boses at kilos.

In this huge campus of the most prestigious university in Riverhills, I sacrificed a lot of things to have the chance of sitting here in this four-cornered rooms.

"I know that many of you are confused, bakit natin pag-uusapan ang self-love kung ang subject natin ay Enhancing and Building Creative Ideas in 21st Century Literacy?"

He's really a professor. He's right, I'm confused as of the moment. Kung self-love lang naman ang pag-uusapan namin, syempre mastered ko na 'yan ng dalawang taon. Ikaw ba naman na mag-isa lang sa buhay, tingnan lang natin kung hindi ka pa ba magiging bihasa sa sariling pagmamahal.

He continued, "Any idea from the class?" His voice became loud as he's looking for someone to raise their hand.

I don't want to raise my hand. Sasagot lamang ako kung tatawagin ako ni sir. I have my idea already. So, I will just have to wait for him to call me.

"Yes, Mr. Jaxon?" He raised his hand.

Mm, he's the kind of person that dwells too much just for a credit. Nah, matalino talaga 'yan si Jaxon. Strict at loner nga lang. Palagi siyang laman ng mga bibig ng mga talkerist dito sa university. Hindi ko nga alam kung may masaya bang happenings sa buhay niya since I see only see him doing his studies. Walang bago, parang akin lang din.

Tumayo siya. "Communicating with yourself in kind and positive ways is one of some ways to show yourself self-love, and by having that, you develop trust in yourself by honoring your commitments. Spend quality time with yourself. That is all, sir." He ended his answer with a smile.

What a cutey! I've being eyeing him for almost a year now since I transferred here. Kaya masarap mag-aral dito sa mga private school kasi ang daming guwapo at matatalino. 'Yong tipong parang dumi ka lang sa paningin nila, pero may halaga ka pa rin sa kanila. Kasi bibigyan ka nila ng time para pag-aralan. Kung possible ba na maging form of virus ka o hanggang bacteria ka lang talaga.

"Good answer as awalys, Mr. Jaxon," said our professor.

Pagkatapos ay tumingin siya sa amin, na tila ba naghahanap pa ng ibang sasagot sa tanong niya. Hindi ka pa ba satisfied sa sagot niya, sir? Grabe naman talaga itong si sir—Patay na! Nakatingin siya sa akin. Inhale, Damon!

"You are?"

Sobrang bilis nang tibok ng puso ko. Is he talking at me? Lumingon ako sa likuran ko, saka sa tabi ko. Hindi naman sila sumagot. At saka wala rin sa mukha nila ang balak sumagot. Ako kaya ang tinatano–

"You are the new transferee, right? What's your name again?" Tila tumaas ang kaniyang boses.

He's the new teacher that everyone was talking about for the past two weeks. I never seen him in our class before since I was absent for a week, health matters. Today is our first-time encounter.

I'm totally dead by now. What a shame! Ako pala ang kausap niya. Sa puntong ito, walang duda, ako nga ang kausap niya marahil ay wala namang ibang transferee rito sa section namin kundi ako lang. I don't want to become the center attraction since I'm trying my best to stay at the shadow. Having the spotlight will put me on danger.

But I have to end this right away so I can take off that light that is shining from everyone's eyes.

"I am Damon, sir," a short answer for his question.

"If I ask your name, I want you to answer in complete sentence. Now, what's your name again?" The intense between us two keeps on rising unstoppably. If this will continue . . . I'm afraid I'm going to find myself in a teacher's lounge.

"Pardon me, sir, for my disrespectful attitude. Let me introduce myself again. I am Damon Silva." I stopped for a second to gather some air. "To answer your question, sir . . . When we say self-love, it has three key elements that ourselves should target—Mind, body, and soul. First, write yourself a love letter. Write everything that you want to tell towards yourself. Everything what yourself must feel when he read that letter from you. Cast deeper meaning by using meaningful words. Think of the things you're grateful for.

"Third, buy yourself a bouquet of flowers. Re-read your favorite book. And lastly that would make satisfy your mind is to create a vision board for your dreams. I would have loved to continue, but the bell is going to ring in a minute, sir." I smiled.

For reasons I don't understand, he was unable to talk for seconds. I calculated the time left for me to answer the question, as I took a glimpsed on the clock hung on the wall in front of the class before I answered him.

"Thank you so much, class. I guess that's all for this morning. See you on our next meeting," he said while walking back on his table.

As I took my bag and put it on my back, there's this confusing thought of his sudden change of action. The only thing I can think of, is something to do with my last name's background. Does he know about my family?

Hindi ko namalayan na halos wala na palang tao rito sa room.

"Mr. Silva—"

"Yes, sir?" Sa aking gulat ay napataas ang aking boses. Bigla na lang kasi sumulpot sa aking harapan si sir.

"Do you have plans after your morning class?" he said. Tila hindi ito tanong, kundi isang kautosan.

"N-None, sir," pati dila ko ay nakaramdam ng kaba sa posibleng mangyari.

"Good. Meet me on my office right after your class. See you later."

Hindi pa ako nakasasagot ay umalis na siya sa aking harapan. "O-Okay, si—"

What's wrong with him? I have a bad feeling about it.