Ori Interrupts the Mission

"The council does not recognise you as currently applicable to the role of Jedi Grandmaster. But, you will have a place on the council." Some bull shit words were spoke, my position behind the walls only allowing me to hear the stupid motherfucker in the other room.

'Shit, Emelia and her stupid motherfucking plan... Send me on a mission that is interesting she says... Then I get stuck in this shitty situation where they call a fucking council meeting just minutes after I began my hack into their computers.' 

It was hard for me to fully hold back my anger. I had been fucked around by these robed fuckers for weeks now, and I still only got their fucking robot message receiver every time. At first I had attempted to establish friendly ties with them and meet them as head of Shield on behalf of the Veritas Imperium. I didn't even get to meet one of their Jedi, i just got a droid.

'She better have a fucking good excuse planned or otherwise that bitch is going to be wishing she was dead! I'll turn her kids against her, i swear I will!' 

"How can I be on the council but not a Grand Master, this is the greatest hypocrisy I have ever heard." I heard some prepubescent man-child speak back to the dumbass using logic... Unfortunately logic was not enough when someone had a voice and attitude like a toddler throwing toys in a fit of rage because their ducky was stolen. 

'This motherfucker needs to grow some balls, shit...'

"Sit, down, Skywalker." I scoffed at the stupidity of the man speaking, he was just asking for some sort of fucking consequence from the man-child he was speaking to. I mean, what motherfucker provokes someone who is being immature about a seat on the council?

'I am surrounded by stupidity and I can't even say that it is any different on Earth... Fuck, its Terra now isn't it?'

"General Grievous has been found on..." At this moment the sound of orbital bombardment striking shields resounded, sirens and alarms blaring across the entire Jedi Temple. I could hear a commotion from the other side of the vent. It was typical that this shit had to happen whilst I was here.

'Shit, fuck... Why can't anything just be easy...'

"Quick! We must establish order within the temple, Anakin you go protect the Younglings. Obi Wan, come with me we'll handle the defences. Fisto, could you please protect the Datacrons?" I couldn't see what the fuck was happening, I was sick of it so I just kicked through the vent and rolled into the Jedi Council room. This was unfortunately followed by the lighting up of several lightsabers.

"Who are you?!" The man-child's voice echoed around the room as he put his light stick under my throat whilst I tried to stand. Another massive detonation shook the temple as the shielding was slowly failing, the sound of the weaponry being very familiar to me. 

"Motherfucker... Look sissy, I know who is causing this shit and I..." Before I could continue to speak I came face to face with some fucker that looked exactly like me.

"Bitch, who is you!? You ain't me... Are you a fucking shapeshifter or some shit?" The bitch who had my face looked at me with a familiar expression, one of complete and utter caution and weariness.

"I should ask you that, shapeshifter... Tell us, why have you attacked?"

They all had their glowy sticks out now.

"Listen to what I am saying, I know who has done this. I didn't say I did this... Motherfucker do you even speak English?" All of the Jedi Masters were confused but many just left the room, leaving the matter to the copy cat fucker and his bitch boy, soy boy, non grandmaster. 

The copy-cat fucker seemed as confused as I did, but unfortunately for them they didn't have the time to interrogate me. I knew that this would be a bad situation, the Ori had appeared and I didn't have many ships with me and those that were here were all stealth vessels designed to be untraceable. They weren't equipped for combat.

"Look, we don't have time for this shit... I represent an agency from a nation called the Veritas Imperium, I was sent here to create relations between out two nations within this time period. This was the reason, there is an enemy invading our Multiverse and they just came to your doorstep." The soy boy looked at the copy-cat in concern as the Lightwand stayed completely still near my throat.

"Who is this enemy?" The cop-cat spoke hurriedly as another round of bombardment shook the foundations of the Jedi Temple.

"They are called the Ori, shit, we don't have time for this! We need to get to my ships, once we do I can contact my people for some aid." Both of the Jedi looked at one another before nodding and turning off their lightsabers. They probably had some mind magic shit to make sure I wasn't lying, something I had gotten used to with Emelia... That bitch is making me act weird.

"Good, we got our shit sorted? Yes? Great, let's go, we need some fighters or ships with communications signals." Right as I finished my sentence the shield collapsed and a beam struck the right side of the temple, killing hundreds.

"Fuck, let's go!" I started to sprint, the soy boy and copy fucker following as they directed me towards the ships. No doubt they believed me and trusted in me because of necessity. If the Ori were bombarding the planet than it was most likely that the Orbital fleet of the Republic had been annihilated and that there was very little likelihood of aid coming.

"You better not be tricking us shapeshifter..." The copy fucker spoke like a neutered male cat, not using swears or cusses despite the immense ability he most definitely had.

"Look bitch, use proper words if you want to speak to me!" The copy fucker stayed silent from there on as the soy boy simply shook his head pointing at another corridor.

"That way!"

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