My Professor: I am his naughty slave

"No! Stop!!!" I yell out loud feeling my legs numb and the edge almost coming to an end, I felt my heart was out on my hand beating just so abnormally in fear and moreover, I hated doing this. I want this to stop, but I felt helpless.

Uh? What is happening? Why do I feel so stiff all of a sudden... and why am I walking forward on my own? I gulp as I look down on my feet to see them moving on their own against my will, but why? I don't want to do it this time. I want to live, I want to enjoy my life as I want. Why is this happening?

"You are such a disgrace! Look at you, tsk!" The look of disgust, they throw at me every time makes me hate myself even more, why was I a disgrace? Did I do something wrong?

"I wonder how you got that rich family to adopt you." Another girl among the ones who always bullies me speaks, the truth is that I know none of them while they know almost everything about me- or just not the real me. Was it a sin for me to be adopted?

What did she even know about it that she is getting jealous of? If I ever get to choose a normal life over the life I have now, I would gladly toss this away. This family isn't mine and this life I am living neither is mine. Then why should I live?

"Yah!" Ouch, who would tell this girl that it hurts. Being tossed around and being beaten hurts a lot. She was not satisfied seeing me lying helpless on the ground so here she was raising her water bottle filled with water and aiming at me.

I could just bear it, I couldn't speak out now move. Why am I so weak?

"You. don't. deserve. to. live. Pathetic!!" The same girl hits me anywhere she finds with her bottle leaving me whimpering on the ground, I couldn't utter a word. No, I didn't because there was none to drag me out of this hell. Why would I just give in to their satisfaction?

"Jihee, yah! Make sure you do not go overboard, if she dies who will we play with?" One girl says while the other standing behind started laughing hysterically making fun of me, I gulp down the lump forming in my throat, I wanted to scream and run away but the coward me had no guts to do that.

"True, true."The girl who was hitting me says not before throwing her bottle at me, and did I just say throw? She smacked it on my head and hell, it hurts like hell. I felt my head throbbing in pain, my eyes getting blurry with the tears getting collected at the brim, I wanted to die.

I found all these old memories I had living through my past life filling up my mind when I am on the verge of bidding goodbye to my new life which I hadn't even lived for a minute.

"You are such a disgrace! I don't get why we had adopted you!!" My so-called father yells straight at my face while I just stood there with my head hung low.

"I told you before but her face is what we need. If not she is useless... better if she dies." I felt my heartbreak at those words which came out of my so-called mother, what they didn't know was... I always wanted to die. And I have reasons to do so. I want to run away.

I want to disappear, I want to die.

"No, stop!" I yell loud clutching my head hard when all these undesired flashbacks interrupt the moment which I wanted to avoid, I want to stop myself from throwing away another chance I received but all I can do was curse under my breath when all these memories blindside my mind.

"Ahhh!!!" I yelled yet again wanting to uphold against those thoughts, My eyes open with the open view striking hard against my slightly blurry vision which was slowly getting clear the more I tried. This is just great. My breathing was rapid as I tried to compose myself but a gasp escapes my lips seeing what was beneath me.

The same place... every time, I find myself in this very place where everything ends and starts all over again. This was not the first time, it happened a lot and I know what is gonna happen next, standing in front of the edge of the college's rooftop, just below the wide blue sky above me which could hardly give comfort to my broken heart and below?

There is a large wide concreted ground beneath me where lots of people walk by.

You must be wondering where I am...right? Or did you already know where I am?

I was a naive girl who always worked as per other's wishes and mine...? I killed them, murdered them just because no one listened to me, no! It had no value for others, I just had to do what I was told ever since I got to the age I could interpret things.

I had such a tough life and not just once but twice already. I had always found myself here whenever I wanted to end everything. And it is an unbelievable fact, something more like a miracle, that despite how many times I wanted to end everything I found myself starting everything anew from here, right here.

I hate it to the gut in the beginning but now, I am glad to receive this chance to make everything just good.

Hmm... what do I say about it? You all must be confused right?

Hmm first let me tell you who I am. I am Yoo Na, maybe you all would prefer to call me without my surname. Why? Because it doesn't belong to me but neither does the name belongs to me. I am living a life with someone else's identity and my life was a living hell. Anyway, I came to love this name because this is all I have, a name that would at least stay with me forever.

I have been adopted twice and now I live as Park Yoo Na, but I have already ended this life twice because I was helpless, hopeless and I had no will to live. Just right here at the very edge... I have shared my most hurtful words and emotions with...? Myself or say, god? Yeah, I had been back right here alive even though I killed myself over and over again.

Maybe God heard me, he listened to me and he was trying to give me a chance to see life in a new way.

Maybe, this was not the end written for me, maybe God doesn't want me to leave everything unsolved. Maybe he wants me to see a different prospect of life... does he?

Even though this is my third time, I found myself here again after I decided to give up but... this time I won't be the same naive girl. I am no more a crybaby who cries silently feeling hopeless and all. Don't worry I am not here to end everything again, I am here for a new start which I want to write and create my own and fight for myself.

I am still growing up and I am good enough to take care of myself after having lived the same life two times in a different way. Let me tell you one thing, despite having lived my life twice I have made a few progress and the more I progress make... my story changes. Those two lives were miserable, I honestly admit but I am back to write a new story.

Everyone would get a payback... everyone! No mercy because I know I have someone by my side even though he would never be mine. I know his heart would never beat for me, but what is the meaning of me being back if I couldn't melt that cold and broken heart of his.

Everything changed but he didn't, he was always an arrogant person whom I hated with my gut and will but who knew he would be the only person to stand by me. My first love, my everything.

"I promise. " I mumble as I vouch for my words with my eyes on the blue sky just above my head and to be surprised I smiled because this beautiful sky gave me the warmth and comfort I always yearned.

I realized one thing, it's our own thought that makes us see as we feel and want, now that I am light and calm with new determination building up inside me, I feel alive- for the very first time.

"I am making everything right... I will. " I say again with a bright smile and aura radiating off of me. I lift my hand slowly grabbing the glasses I had against my nose as a cover I always used to hide, I take a deep breath in and pull it away and throwing it away, far away from me so I don't lose hope to fight against my insecurities.

"I am not the naive girl as before!!" I take a few deep breaths gulping down the lump that was giving me trouble speaking out my thoughts. This is harder than I thought but I am not gonna give up, I can do it. I need to do it- for myself.

"It's me YOO NA! I will live for myself!!!"

It felt good, really good to yell out loud, all those frustrations and insecurities that those words carried. I never felt so light and stronger from within, what is with the sudden change? Was it me? Of course, It is me... right? I always tried hard to be what I am now but yeah, I could never.

With the surge of confidence in me, I tried my best to forbade my limbs from moving any further. I couldn't, oh god, what do I do? "I don't want to die... please save me. " I say as tears start dripping down my eyes.

Am I not gonna make it this time? Why? Why was I here back again just to end it without starting... this is not fair. I wanna be strong and I want to live. Please just stop this... I want to live happily... with him, forever. I want my first love to bloom.

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I have written this chapter with the first perspective so that I can let you all know what the ML felt all along. But from another chapter onward, it would be the 3rd point of view. Hope you would love this story. Let me know your thought's on this chapter.

Male lead: Shin Yeong Jae Female lead: Park Yoo Na Male lead's love: Moon Ga Yeong [Don't worry it will change ;) ]

There are lots of characters coming up so I hope you all would support me with this new story of mine. Thank you!