My first love was my enemy

Alarms clamps open my eyes to the dazzling ray of sun kissing my skin, the radiance making my eyes unable to open to the fullest.

The days are always so beautiful, especially these mornings, how the flowers look so unflawed and the beauty of the world remains unexposed.

Swift yet sober my eyes adjust to the light, i see around myself.

i close the alarm and stretch myself a little to render all the post-sleep weakness.

Sometimes, when we wake up and we haven't still really woken up though, for the most part we think our life has no worries, no sorrow, no problems and no challenges to face but when we really recall everything we are rendered to pieces.

Not like i have some kind of a disease or i have lost someone but sometimes small and mundane things of life become a huge challenge.

WHATEVER I KNOW I SOUND SARCASTIC SOMETIMES, BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY MY MISTAKE, PROBABLY IT'S PART OF MY GENES.

"Lilly, Lilly darling are you up already?" mom calls out and i wonder how she can be really kind and absolutely angry toned demonsih version of herself concurrently, well that's her anyways.

"Yes mom, i just woke up." i say taking the blanket off me

"okay sweetheart, be downstairs soon for the breakfast." mom utters enthusiastically.

"Yeah, i will be there" i say with equal energy.

I wake up and go straight to the washroom, you know with all the junk food that you eat every night you can't hold back that poop.

I shower and sing the ost of the k-drama true beauty in the shower.

I am a singer in the shower, actually everybody at some point is.

In the shower you get to be yourself the most.

you don't have to pull up a facade, you don't have to please no one.

" i am missing you

waiting for you." I sing out with bombshell upstroke energy.

As i proceed to grab my bathrob i stumble and almost fall.

Yeah did i forget to mention that, i am a clumsy bitch, too unruly and undisciplined as well.

disdainful right?

I come out to the corner of my room to the window

and i open the window looking out.

"gross man, what a sight

IT'S HIM, TOM GILBERT not really though he is tommy the bitchy man." i say almost shouting

wow, so my day is going to be pretty rough

now that i have seen that

poop-face arsehole.

He sees me and makes a dumb face

and i make a dumb face in return.

He is really such a disgusting bitch.

I flinch back and close the window and even draw the curtains.

I close my eyes to calm myself down and prepare myself for another day when i will have to see him like this for gazillion more times, damn i wish he could just disappear.

I am screwed up, right now only a cup of coffee will pacify me.

That tommy bitch is actually my father's best friend, Mr james gilbert's son.

To be really honest Mr james is not like him at all, in fact he is so kind and loving.

On the other side, this asshole I don't even know who does he even resemble to in his family, may be nobody because he is too annoying to be like his sweet little family.

I even avoid going to his home just because i really do not want to or never even feel like encountering his billibord like face and tunnel like nostrils.

Nah Nah Nah

I know everybody calls him hot and whatsoever but he is never ever ever ever ever going to be my type ever.

To me he is a body with a bucket-like mind filled with animal shit.