Kiss

I leaned forward to close the gap between us and kissed him again. Geo moaned lightly with surprise as he deepened the kiss, making me feel even bolder. My mind was numbed, the only thing I was aware of were his lips moving against mine, his hand firmly gripping my waist and pulling me closer.

I was lost in the sensations as the heat from his lips flowed through me right to my core. A familiar throbbing pulsed between my legs that I desperately wanted him to relieve. It took a moment for my mind to catch up to my body's responses, and when it did it startled me enough to make me pull away. My eyes widened with shock at my behavior, and I was worried about how Geo would react.

His own eyes were surprised, but I could also see how they had darkened with lust. A part of me was pleased by his response, another part of me worried that he thought it could continue.

"I am sorry," I began to say before he interrupted me.

"Do not be," he said quickly.

"But we-"

"I am not sorry," he said firmly, his expression serious. I was too stunned to speak while his eyes were fixed on mine. They were mesmerizing, and I wanted to get lost in them, but a part of me knew I couldn't. I finally broke our gaze and was about to say we could not do this again, but Geo spoke first. "I will get the adapter for you," he said as he stood up from his seat.

I should have stopped him and said what I needed to say, but deep down I didn't want to. I watched as his lean frame walked away, and when I was sure he had left the main lab, my hand subconsciously went towards my lips. They felt warm and slightly swollen, and a part of me was thrilled by it.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear those thoughts from my mind. 'I need to focus. I need to work.' That will have to be my new mantra as I move through my days. Not ready to face Geo yet, I stayed in my seat and looked at the table in front of me. The food was half eaten, and although my appetite was no longer craving food, I began to eat again. I hated the idea of it going to waste.

The images Nera took of the seedlings continued to move from one to the other on the monitor, distracting me from my personal thoughts. At least one thing had gone right and moved me forward.

After several minutes passed I cleaned up the table and left the main lab. I quietly walked down the hall, doing my best to avoid running into Geo. I peaked into my lab and sighed in relief when I found it empty. On the table next to my station was a cable I hadn't seen before, and I knew it must have been the adapter Geo got for me. After connecting all the pieces I transferred the images and got to work.

I had been working for a couple of hours when my eyes suddenly felt too heavy to continue. I didn't get as far as I wanted with my notes on the 'ancient' literature, but I was comforted knowing that I was able to put together a report on the new seed varieties. That should appease Thana for now, at least I hoped it would.

I lied in my cot and tried to fall asleep. Although my eyes were heavy, my mind was keeping me awake, still drifting back to the kiss. I could feel my body flush thinking about his lips on mine, but what really kept me up was wondering what I would do when he tried to kiss me again. The look he gave me left me without a doubt that there would be another time, and it excited and terrified me.

DATE: 09/13/12119

I finally managed to get some rest, but my body refused to let me sleep in. I cursed my circadian rhythm, recalling the days as a teenager when I could sleep until noon fondly. Despite waking up on time I did not leave my cot. Although Geo should be asleep by now, I wasn't quite ready to face the day. That was when I would have to keep my head down and bury any feelings I might have.

I slowly got up and put on my uniform, happy to leave the patient gowns behind. I glanced at my reflection in the dull metal cabinet and took stock of my appearance. My hair had grown longer, the brown waves reaching my shoulders. I tried to slick back the frizziness of the baby hairs around my face but quickly gave up. I would need a flat iron or gel to accomplish that. I haven't seen anyone who looks like me in Arca, and the feeling was isolating. It made me wonder if I would ever fit in here.

Trying not to dwell on it, I pulled my hair up with a hair tie I had found and straightened my posture. Just because I may not look like I fit in doesn't mean I cannot fit in. With my head held high and determination in my steps, I moved to the door of my room, ready to embrace whatever challenges came my way. That was until I ran into Thana as soon as I stepped out of my room, her calculating gaze fixed on me.