I am the Main Character

"Whatever you do, don't forget what makes you, you."

Who said those words to me again...?

It was early morning, I was just taking the steep yet familiar steps on the entrance of the the school bus when I suddenly realised something that had bugged me for my entire life.

The reason why nothing seemed to go my way, the reason why no matter what I do, my efforts don't get appreciated, no matter what I do,

I am always left behind.

Now that I think about it, it's almost funny. It was so simple. I often praised myself for my capabilities but how did it take me so long to figure it out?

It wasn't like the reason was some convoluted, unexplainable coincidence or a system which was trying to ruin my life, and my life only.

No.

It was something much more obvious than that.

*

It all began eight years ago.

I was admitted to a facility called The Side Rooms.

Actually.

To be more accurate, I was actually born there, for as much as I could remember.

It wasn't like dating was banned there.

We all had full freedom to have relationships, it wasn't like anyone was going to stop us. In fact, some people did participate in things that could almost be considered "dates".

The only thing was that there were none of the normal facilities that are all but necessary for a functional relationship. There weren't any cafés, cinemas, parks or romantic scenery. There was practically nothing you could do with your partner. Ultimately, the relationships that occurred just slowly fizzled away, with nothing to feed the flames, becoming nothing but a slight pile of ashes.

There was nothing there to build romantic chemistry either. The place was designed to build ideal humans, well, ideal for a different reason, not for children to enjoy their short-lived youth.

Despite the lack of entertainment, I did not dislike the place, however.

It wasn't long before the people around me slowly became mindless sheep, following the crowd and rarely thinking on their own. They were pretty dumb as well, despite everyone being put through the same esoteric education system, some people just weren't as smart.

Well, actually, no one was as smart as me.

Not even close.

Gone were the days where intelligence meant anything though.

*

I sat down on one of the playfully designed orange seats of the public bus. The seats were all oddly placed, with some facing the front and some facing the sides. There was a nice little section designated for elderly and other disabled peoples, which seemed like a nice incorporation into the seemingly cold brutal outer world.

It was the same bus I had taken the day before, and the day before that. It was the same bus I had taken practically my entire life, ever since I 'graduated' from the system. The seats were scarcely occupied in the beginning, with only a small number having people sitting in them. I was a pretty early stop though, so slowly but surely more people gradually flowed onto the bus, until almost every row had at least one person occupying the two seat rows.

I looked outside at the calming green vegetation, it seemed I was the only person who wasn't glued religiously to their phone. But then again, it wasn't exactly because I was especially determined or willed, it was just that I didn't have anything I wanted to do. I glanced around the bus, mostly catching view of people scrolling through social media or texting, which was standard practice for students these days.

Eventually, the two seat rows were all occupied by at least one person. This left the dilemma of having to ask someone to have a seat next to them. Most of the time, this was resolved by a simple, "Can I sit next to you?" met with an equally aloof and distanced response of, "...yeah" whilst they grudgingly moved their belongings under the seat or onto their lap. Nearly every time, the student would look for someone of the same gender to request a seat. It was obvious why, people generally felt less uncomfortable and especially less anxious when sitting to someone of the same sex. I didn't really care who sat to me however, whether they were a boy or a girl didn't affect my mood or stress in any way.

It was only today I noticed something. Well technically I had noticed them the entire time, but I never really connected the dots until today.

"Good morning, Ichika!" Was a sentence I heard almost every single day at nearly the exact same time. The apathetic bus driver, who takes practically no notice of any other student, seemingly loves to greet this specific girl. One would be able to see why though, not only was she popular, she also had good grades and had excellent feats in sport.

But this morning, I realised. It wasn't like I had never competed against her, it wasn't even like I hadn't seen her in action.

She was criminally overrated.

15.6 seconds was her time during the 100 metre sprint during athletics day. I could do 100 metres in 12.9 seconds. Her high jump record was 1.45m whilst mine was 1.6m. Especially when it came to soccer, she always seemed to be chosen for the representative team, whilst I never was. I eventually came to understand why this was, I had always had utter confidence in my abilities.

It wasn't even like she was unequivocally smarter than everyone else. Often times she seemed more like an airhead than a critical thinker. But all this justification was all just overkill anyways. I already knew the reason for anything anyways.

Ichika took the seat just in front of mine. The person in the seat in front of mine was a boy as well, she had surpassed the unspoken rule of girl with girl and boy with boy. This was not an uncommon occurrence either. She often sat next to boys and every time she did, it seemed like the boys were having the time of their life, bashfully looking away and blushing whenever the momentum of the bus caused them to slightly bump into each other.

It was amazing, incredible, extraordinary, she was every positive descriptive term you could ever think of. But greatest of all, she was an extrovert, a trait which was almost like a blessing in this day and age. Everyone wanted to be her friend, everyone wanted to be associated with her. She was praised for everything she did, yet she wasn't amazing, incredible or extraordinary, or at least not when compared to me.

It was like there was some supernatural force holding me back. Like there was someone up in the heavens purposely allowing her to surpass me.

She wasn't better than me, other people only thought that she was better than me. Whether it was because she was more pretty, more open, more talkative, more popular, or something else. Something that would never allow her to be surpassed, something that will hold her life in the highest regard.

I finally knew what that something was.

I also finally realised why my own life was so miserable.

She was the Main Character.

Whilst I was the Side Character.