HOPELESSLY HIS

#Chapter1

/"Sophie, come here! Someone's calling you!/" Sonia yells for me from inside the house and I gently push Wolf off of me to answer the phone. He's grown even more than I'd expected, he was bigger than me when he was on his back paws.

/"Coming!/" I yell back, finally managing to stand up. Wolf paddles after me inside the house, where my godmother is waiting for me.

/"It's Amber./" she says and I smile, taking the phone from her.

/"Hey!/" I say into the phone.

/"Hey girl! It's been what, two weeks since we last talked? You promised you'd call more often!/" she accuses me.

/"I know! I'm sorry but I'm about to fail math this year and I really don't want to do Junior year all over again. Besides, Tom's kind of been taking the little time I'm free./" I try to explain.

She sighs. /"Those are literally just excuses, Soph. If you don't visit during summer, I will fall into depression, do you hear me?/"

I giggle. /"Okay, okay. I will. How are you?/"

/"I'm good, actually. Still standing Liam here./" she says.

/"Oh, shush. You know you love him./" I tell her and she sighs in content.

/"I do. I really do. He's great./"

We're silent for a few moments, before I ask the inevitable question.

/"How's... He?/" I gulp and I hear some movement on the line.

/"He's... better, sort of. I mean, he's slowly returning back to how he was before./" she says, quietly.

/"Is he out of jail?/"

/"Yeah, he got out five days ago. Not that I'd seen him, they just told me./"

I gulp. /"He's been keeping to himself?/"

/"Yeah. And it's slightly worse because before we were used to all the women around him, you know, and now he's just... Alone./"

I ignore the quickening of my heart when Amber tells me he's not been hanging around with girls. /"Will you look after him? Just bring him food for lunch, talk to him a bit, you know./" Tell him that I miss him.

/"Sophie, I know he's your only ex and you're kind of new at this, but exes usually don't tell people to take care of their ex. They slash their tires, kill their pets./" she tells me and I roll my eyes.

/"I know, I know, but will you just do that? Please, for me?/" I beg her, hearing her sigh again.

/"I could try if he doesn't slam the door in my face again. Besides, you have a boyfriend, Sophie! You should take care of him, not Axel./"

/"Will you just... Please, Am. I gotta go now, okay? I'll talk to you later./"

She mumbles a /"Bye/", before I hang up and lean my head on the wall.

I once read that you get over someone after half of your relationship's duration, so I should've been over him after three weeks or something. Why the hell do I still think of him every day 7 months later?

I tell myself that it's because he was my first... Whatever he was. It's because we didn't get a solid ending. It's because I loved him; it's normal that I was sad to lose the person I loved. But now I can't lie to myself anymore. I know it's because I still love him, I've come to realize that I'll always love him and it hurts that he's destroying himself even more than before.

I was told that he stopped going to school. I was told that everytime Amber sees him, he's drunk out of his mind. I was told he gets in a fight every weekend, but they caught him a month ago and he was taken to jail for three weeks.

One fight, quite a while ago, went bad. Apparently he got himself involved with four guys. He ended in a hospital. A concussion, two injured ribs, broken hand, and fractured kidney. I was basically already on the train, when he finally picked his phone up and told me that he didn't want to see me. He said that he'd rather die than having to see my face again. So I stayed. Unfortunately, my feelings did, too. I began to think over every possible option to get over him because obviously, he was over me.

That's when Tom came into play. A kind boy, always willing to help people. The contrast between him and Axel is humorous. Tom knew I had some bad history with an ex, and he still stayed with me. I never told him the details, though, and he never asked.

I didn't read at all the first month; I couldn't stand the memories those books brought me. Especially Tess of the d'Urbervilles. Music helped me; I listened to music all the time, Sonia said I'd turned into a music junkie. Those evenings in nightclubs we talked about never happened, I just couldn't party. I couldn't be happy; I didn't allow myself to. If he was miserable, then so should I be.

The worst thing was that I lost him only a day after our connection deepened, after our bodies and minds joined and you feel the need to be near that person intensify. And I lost him.

I miss him. I miss him terribly, with all my heart. I miss his rough hands, his strong tattooed arms, his torso, his curls, his smile, his dimples. His eyes.

I always thought he was the most attractive man I'd ever laid my eyes on. I miss how he talked, all the cursing he did, how he said my name. How we'd always fight, how we danced in my room that night and slept together when nobody even really knew what we had going on. I miss the feeling I got when he kissed me.

/"Sophie? Are you okay?/" A soft voice brings me back to reality. I look towards him, standing under the doorway. His short black hair is as usually gelled to perfection, his polo shirt tucked into his pants.

/"Yeah, I'm fine./" I say, forcing a smile as he takes the few steps towards me and wraps his arms around me in comfort.

/"I can tell something is bothering you./"

/"It's nothing, really. Are you ready to tutor me?/" I ask and he smiles.

/"Ready as ever./" he's the smartest kid in the class; that's how we met. He's my classmate. His favourite subject also happens to be Math so it was only logical that he'd tutor me. /"Let's start then./" he says and leads me to the table, opening the books and giving me a problem to solve.

If only my problems were as simple as these.