His Heart Beat

"HEARTBEAT"

Just as my five year old son read the word, my heart beat became loud and fast. My son looked at me from down as he was holding my left index finger.

"Pops. What happened?"

I get on my knees as now I'm facing my cute little son and smile at him. My lips forming a genuine smile while my right hand softly touches my left chest. "Can you hear my heart beating loud and fast?" I ask him.

He knotted his eyebrows for a moment, becoming clueless of what I was saying. He then placed his ear in my chest and his jaw almost dropped in shock. He looked back at me and smiled. "Yes" he said in awe.

I smile back at my son and said "he says Hi"

My son giggled softly as he covered his mouth from making it loud. "Hello dear heart" he waved as he kept his eyes locked on my chest.

I ruffled his soft hair and stood up, looking back down at him I spoke "ready?"

His face began to scowl and his face red and angry. He shook his head silently.

I sigh at myself and get on my knees, so now we were facing each other again. "Hey buddy what happened? Aren't you happy seeing your name on this big hospital?" I ask him and the next moment the way his face turns more red from anger which is quite dangerous.

He shook his head again and hissed "The new neighbor, there is a bad bad bad boy living. He stole my lollipop from my mouth today"

I didn't let my laugh stop and it was loud enough to scare the people around us. "Don't worry, when we get back I promise to buy you a lot of lollipop so you could share it with your new neighbor and be friends with him"

"NO! I won't be his friend. We are enemies from now on. I hate that idiot. Idiot J"

I rub my chin and think for a while "so his name is J huh? If your not friends with him then how did you know his name?"

"It was easy" he shrugged. "He was wearing a badge. And there I saw a capital letter J"

I laughed again and with that we both marched inside the hospital, smile never leaving my lips. I see the staffs and patients nodding and wishing we both good morning. I nod at them back and walk forward to my destination. This hospital has changed a lot, though the last time I came here was during my high school with them.

Oh, by the way did I introduce myself to you all yet? I'm not sure though if I did. If not then wait for me to speak.

Before going where me and my son was supposed to be, I first decided to go in a room. A room which was closed since that day. "Son, I want you to behave and walk with me to a room ok. Then we will later go and visit other kids"

He smiled wide and nod his head like a big boy. I place a light kiss on his head and together we make our way to room number 143. Just as I unlocked and we walked in, I felt my heart being happy, as if it this hospital room was the best thing for my heart. My eyes directly went on the bed, where I was once layed there. I made myself let go from my son's grip and walked over the bed. My hands slowly touched every corner of it. I didn't cry though. I smiled and motioned my son to come over here. He listened to me and stood next to me.

"Say thank you"

My son picked up the pillow and smiled "thank you dear heart"

We sat there in silence, my son looking around the room and me just keeping my eyes on the empty cold bed.

I sigh, no words coming from my mouth. My eyes becoming shiny, but I dare not to let them break. As I promised two very important people of my heart to never cry thinking of it ever again.

After a while, I look at my watch and get on my toes. I pick my son up and walk out of the room. I then place him down and lock the room and put the key back in my pocket. We together walk through the corridor and go the receptionist.

"Good morning Dr Ivan..."

"Ivan, Ivan Heart" I completed her words with a smile.

The receptionist bowed her head down with a guilty smile and said sorry.

I said it's fine and asked her about the session time.

"The kids and doctor Kevin are waiting for you already doctor."

I nod my head and take my leave, but I halt my steps as I hear the receptionist calling my name.

"Doctor, will you and your son be leaving or should I book a room for today?"

I chuckle at her worry and reply "It's fine Julie, my husband will be here to pick me and my son up after the session. So you don't have to worry about that."

"Pops, is daddy gonna come?"

I hear my son ask in surprise with wide eyes. Which makes me to slap my forehead like a kid. "Well, I'm really sorry kiddo. But this was supposed to be a secret between me and your dad." I say to him as I hear Julie chuckle at my stupidity.

"Well... I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything Miss Julie?"

Julie giggles a little and shakes her head.

"See, I guess my ear is buzzing. I need to see Uncle Kevin soon so that he can check me up" he spoke as he walked on his own.

I then thank Julie and quickly trailed behind my five year old son.

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"So kids. Wish good morning to your doctor and his son Heart Ra.."

"Don't worry kids, when we all grow big like uncle Kevin and my pops, I will make you all happy and healthy."

My son interrupted Kevin with a big grin on his face. I shake my head as I see Kevin chuckle and the kids in huge shock.

We take our seats, as me, Kevin, my son face other heart patient kids. There are almost twenty-five heart patients here. And I feel so sad and bad for them as they are all just five to ten years old. Like, why is God so cruel? I sometimes ask myself. But then as always, my heart beats fast and I smile. God is never cruel. Maybe that's why, I'm still alive and I have a loving husband and a cute naughty son with me today.

"Ok"

I break my thoughts as I hear Kevin speak.

"Kids, do you all know why did I specially call doctor Ivan to talk you all today?" Kevin asked as he took off his white jacket and hung on his chair.

And every kids answered in sync. "We don't know doctor Kevin"

"Hmm" Kevin stepped forward and folder his arms as he took a good look of the children's before us. After that he looked back at me with a huge smile. He then continued, "Do you all know that even doctor Ivan was once a heart patient?" Kevin questioned the little kids who were all on their chairs.

Their eyes became wide as they were now fixed on me. I could see hope and some kind of unexplained happiness in them. I smile at them as they shake their head in denial.

"But.." I hear a small boy of my son's age raise his head. He looked too fine and fit to be a heart patient. "I.. sorry, I mean how did doctor become happy again?"

Though his question wasn't understanding, but I understood what he meant. I then stood up and looked at the boy. He still looked confused yet cute as his eyebrows were knotted tight.

My son, sitting beside me growled in anger. I scowl a little and take a glance, his eyes fixed on the boy who just asked a question. I ignore my son for now and concentrate on my answer. "Want to know how?" I ask him and the other kids.

They all nod quickly in a hurry. As if their life was dependent on my answer.

"By staying happy and always smiling" I say to them.

As I get no answer and I raise my eyebrow at them. Waiting for them to say something. But, there was only silent in this big room.

"Ok then, to make it more easier for you little kids to understand. Would you all like to hear a story?"

They nod in sync again.

And I begin my story.

The story of my life.

The story of our life.

The story of our friendship.

The story of our heart.