24: to say

~~Rose~~

Dear Stupidity Journal,

It was the first day of my new torture. I remember it as clear as I remember myself. He started by keeping me in the dungeon in the basement that I was in before, the same place they held and tortures Levi. He had chains holding me in place.

Not all of it started bad. For the first period of time, he would just...talk to me. I think I realized how much pressure he was under, how he wanted his father to appreciate him more, and he would do whatever it took to get his father to love him. Zayn was just sad, hurt, confused even. He cried at one time, he smelled of alcohol, but I could tell his apologies and whines were sincere, from his heart.

He said he wished it was different. If we had met in different circumstances, in a different time, I would have become close with him, protected him, maybe even loved him. Each time I sat silently, only giving advice when he asked me to speak, he would reward me with extra food. Sometimes a shower and clean clothes. Many times I would get to spend the night in a clean bed.

He had taken over all the council meetings and everything I used to be in charge of. For a time, I enjoyed the break. Then, boredom hit me and I missed even the difficult work I despised.

The good part only lasted a while. Then he started to break me more.

I started to abuse these small luxuries. I would fight back, anything. Each and every time I disobeyed, he hit me. He would withhold meals. He would leave me alone for days with no food and no visitations.

After the first few months (I only think it was months, the days and time blurred together as this all continued), he let me stay in a bedroom. His bedroom. I was required to sleep by his side, to be his picture perfect little bride. I fought for the first few days, he would only leave me locked in there. Then, it became daily beatings even if I did nothing wrong that day. Pieces of me broke even more until slowly I became an empty shell. I watched from inside as the binding moved more and more through my body. As I began to become perfect, I was allowed more.

He would let me roam only with him by my side. In public, I did not wear the same chains, but the mental chains held me there. You may think that I could have run, but if I had, I would start all over again and I would never let myself go back there.

I will stop here only for this time. I will return with more after my heart stops aching this badly.

Rose

~~~~~~~~~~

"Momma, I need help!" I heard from the bathroom. I stood up and put my book on the bed to find Maura peaking her newly-red head out of the shower door. She refused to take showers in her own bathroom, saying it wasn't as big or nice as mine. The walk-in shower was nice, but her huge tub was bigger than most of my bathroom.

I was pretty sure that she just wanted to be near me.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I need a towel and someone to help me braid my hair," she said, a slight shiver vibrating her.

"Okay, I'll be back. Do you have clothes ready?" Maura nods and steps back into the shower. I heard the water start again as I walked to find a towel.

I placed a clean towel on the sink when I walked back in, calling to let Maura know it was there before I walked into my room and picked up my book again.

"Momma?" she called after me once she was out. She came and sat in front of me on the bed, giving me access to her hair.

I hummed in response.

"What happened to you when you left us?"

I froze at her question. My hands started to shake and she turned around to me and grabbed my hands in her tiny ones.

"Momma?"

I blinked away the fear and turned her back around to begin working on her hair again. I didn't want her to see the few tears making their way down my cheeks.

"Zayn was what you would call sympathetic at first. He would just. . .talk to me."

"I know for a fact that there's more than that," she said.

"Well, yes. He started hitting me after a while, baby. He didn't ever touch me more than that until his father told him that he wanted a grandson. Even then, he refused for the first month. After getting himself hit, I went into this obedient wife thing and let him. It sucks, you know, having to watch everything outside from a cage in your head where you can't escape, can't control it, can't stop it, and all you can do is watch. That was the worst form of abuse I had to endure."

The tears came more often and larger now. It took everything in me not to sob out loud.

After I finished my hair, Maura turned and just hugged me. She let me cry a bit before a knock sounded at my door.

Lizzie walked in and seemed to analyze the scene in front of her.

"Sweetheart, your father is looking for you, care to go find him?" she said, Maura only nodded before she kissed me on the forehead and walked out.

Lizzie closed the door behind Maura and came to sit next to me on the bed. She held open her arms and the sobs came back as I collapsed into her.

"It's alright, Rose. It's okay, you're safe now."

We stayed like that for a little while as I slowly calmed down. After everything I've been through, after every pone I've faced, Lizzie isn't as evil to me anymore. She's just a girl who had a bad past who took it out on me. There were people in the world more evil than her.

"Rose, for everything it's worth to you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. And I know, you may never forgive me and that you love Week, but know I'll always love you. Even if you don't love me back in the same way." Lizzie pulled herself away as Week appeared in the doorway. He took one look at the two of us and a small smile appeared on his face before it was wiped away into worry.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, Rose," she paused and gave me one last hug, "I'll be here for you."

With that, Lizzie was gone.