The promise I made with my Childhood Friend and my Reaffirmation

"Tohru-kun, you want to be an author?"

It had been about a year since I first met Rin. We were in the library after school as per usual when Rin, who was sitting beside me, suddenly asked me that.

"Yeah, I wanna be one!"

I wanted to be an author like Maple Satou. Just like last year, my dream hadn't changed at all. With my answer, Rin steeled herself and pursed her lips.

"Here..."

Timidly, Rin gave me something. The object in my hand looked familiar.

"A charm?"

The charm had some kanji on there I couldn't read, but it was a charm for blue collar workers.

"...Yeah, it's a charm for the realization of a dream. I'm sure this charm will help make your dream come true."

Rin's eyes fidgeted around as she said that.

"I thought... it would help you a bit."

Her cheeks became as red as strawberries and her pupils were shaking with unease. After I received that charm from Rin, I expressed my honest feelings to her.

"Thanks so much! That makes me really happy!"

It was Rin's present. And something that could help me achieve my dream. There's no way I wouldn't have been happy. I could see the evident relief on Rin's face from my reaction.

"Now we have matching charms."

I remembered the pastel pink charm I had given to Rin a while back.

"Yep, a matching set."

Rin closed her eyes as she smiled.

"I'll make sure I'll do my best to become an author!"

I squeezed my fist tightly as I declared my resolve to the world.

"Yes, I'll help out too."

My only friend, the girl I love, was helping me out. I swore to become an author no matter what. That's what I truly believed at the time.

And if I don't? That possibility didn't even cross my mind. I truly believed I was going to become an author.

"Tohru-kun... you really are amazing."

I heard those words spill from Rin's lips. And so, she looked at me with so much respect and she began squeezing her fists the same way I was doing it.

"I'll do my best too."

Her voice was barely audible, but I could feel the determination from it.

And after that day, every day after school, Rin replaced the manga she had been reading when she sat beside me with textbooks.

____________________

"I'm back..."

"Welcome home."

I come back home and I hear my sister's voice from the living room.

"How was Rin's homemade cooking?"

"Yeah, it was great."

I give her a short answer, but instead of going to the living room, I head up to my room instead. I see my bookshelf packed with books about writing, I spot the pajamas I wore this morning too, but I head to my desk and open one of the drawers.

I take out what's inside and put it into my hand. It's the blue collar charm, with the words "Realization of a dream" written on it. It's faded a lot with time.

"I really am so pathetic..."

I stare at the charm as I remember the answer I gave nine years ago.

"But..."

I grasp the charm tightly in my hand.

"I'll work hard and do my best."

I made a promise with Rin, I'll definitely become an author on day. That's why, no matter what, I'll make sure it will happen. Once I become an author, I can finally stand shoulder to shoulder with Rin. Who I am now, it's no good at all.

I grasp my desk as I reflect back. There are two reasons why I can't ask Rin about her feelings now.

Firstly, Rin is a flawless beauty and I can't even compare to her. Basically, I have low self-esteem. However, Rin's recent words and actions have somewhat negated that.

Secondly, I have no right to stand side by side with Rin. I won't allow it right now at all. Rin Asakura: she has amazing grades, is quite the athlete and has so many artistic talents. She has it all.

And me?

My grades and athletic ability are average at best and my artistic abilities are basically non-existent. I originally spent all my time writing, but even that hasn't taken off like I wanted it to. That's the current state my promise with Rin is in right now.

I haven't accomplished anything.

There's no way I can confess my feelings to Rin like this, there's no way I even compare to her. There really only is one solution to this problem.

I hang the charm on my desk light. I open my laptop and take a seat. I open up my word processor and let myself be engulfed in the world of words.

Even when the sun set, even when I was called for dinner, I continued typing away, putting all my soul in my story.