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Flawed Enchantress

Tác giả: BaeVida
Huyền huyễn
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  • 40 ch
    Nội dung
  • 4.7
    16 số lượng người đọc
  • NO.200+
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Tóm tắt

A beautiful and powerful enchantress found a girl who was as ugly and unpleasant to the eyes. Feeling pity for the girl, she sought to heal her scar and make her pretty again. Unknown to her, she was under a curse and the moment she healed her, the girl became extremely beautiful but she became ugly. Panicked and frustrated, she tried healing herself but to no avail. In her desperate and frantic moment, the girl pushed her off the mountain peak where they stood and fell to her death. A thousand years later, she reincarnated. In the modern day, where witches and magic existed but in secret, came a prophecy. A beautiful and powerful enchantress would be reincarnated into the body of the Grand Chief's new born daughter. Being a reverenced being, the Grand Chief was happy that his daughter got the honor. But all was not as it seemed. What would this new life of her's be... Join her as she rise from her failures and set backs to be who she truly was and find the one who cursed her in this new world. -------------- "What is the meaning of this Grand seer? You told me the beautiful Enchantress was going to be reincarnated into my new born daughter. But what I see is a child not worthy of been seen with the eyes." "I don't know what happened, it is as I saw." "Then you saw wrong. She would not be shown to the world, she would live in hiding. I cannot show a flawed daughter, it would ruin my image and standing." ******** "She is just good for nothing. She is flawed in every way possible." "She lacks self control in the highest and extremely curious. Not to talk of, her powers are a joke. She brings disaster anytime she attempts to use magic." "Physically flawed, personality flawed and powers flawed, Enchantress my foot... " Cover page credit goes to Kiiara, follow her on discord @Kiiara#9809 Kindly support this book, vote, comment and leave a review. You can message me on discord @ #BaeVida7167 Join my discord for update and discussion. https://discord.gg/xhyKs2 Thanks.

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Chapter 1Cursed

On a cliffside with sharp edges beneath, a stunning lady walks near the edge, her eyes were golden in colour, she had long eyelashes, perfect cheekbones, red rose lips and symmetrical face.

She was extremely beautiful and her body glowed with a bright light. She wore a bright yellow gown flowing behind her, her hair was pure white, reaching her ankles. She gazed up into the sky enjoying the view. She looked like a painting from her beauty and posture.

Suddenly she heard a sharp cry from a mountain far from where she was. Due to her powers and enhanced hearing she could hear the voice, no voices, belonging to two people.

Without wasting much time she flew in the direction of the mountain. On getting to the top, she could see a man, he looked disgusting with his ragged dirty clothes. In his right hand, was a pointy sharp knife and he stalked closer to the young girl on the floor.

The Enchantress couldn't see her face, but from her screams, she could discern that she was a young girl.

"I'm going to enjoy every disgusting moment with you. You are nothing but filth, only meant for my pleasure. Now come on, be a good girl and stop running."

"Never" the female voice rang out more terrified than the boldness she tried to show.

"There is nowhere else to run to. I've chased you this far. So come on while I'm still nice."

With that he pounced on her and tore her clothes while she struggled beneath him as he was more powerful than her.

"Get away from her" a calm and serene voice rang out, stunning both the man and the girl.

The man quickly turned to look at the intruder and in this moment of distraction, the girl kicked him and ran away till she got to the mountain top.

He turned back and saw that his prey was gone. Angry, he turned back to the Enchantress.

"You're going to pay for this intrusion witch."

"How dare you think of doing something vile to her."

"What do you care? No one wants her, she should consider this a favour that I want to touch her, she is nothing more than a plaything."

"Insolent... You do not deserve to live!"

In anger the Enchantress waved her hand and he flew towards the wall, cracked his skull and fell to the ground. She moved past him and hurried to get the girl.

She reached the mountain top quickly and saw the girl standing close to the edge.

"Stop, don't do it" she calmly spoke to the frightened girl.

"No, let me end this miserable life."

"No, just turn. It's not miserable. He is dead, you have nothing to fear, he would never harm you again."

"He is just one man, everyone hates me. Someone would do the same again. I must end it."

"No, you can't say that, please step away from the edge" the Enchantress begged, her worry was evident on her face.

"What do you know?" The girl yelled in anger and turning to look at the Enchantress, there was a shock in the Enchantress's eyes.

"You see, no one can gaze upon me, I have a hideous scar. Even you are shocked."

Regaining her composure, "No, I am not. What vile creature did this to you?"

The girl started crying as this was the only form of care she had experienced in her life.

"Shhh, stop crying... I can heal you," the Enchantress said as she walked close to the girl and pulled her into her embrace.

"No one wants me, I am too ugly to be seen," the girl said amidst sobs.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. I can heal you and make you beautiful again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, let me."

Not awaiting another signal, she withdrew from the embrace and let go of the girl, then she placed both hands on the girl's face.

She closed her eyes for some minutes and when she opened them, her eyes glowed so bright and then the girl's face shone as well. In a matter of minutes, the girl's appearance changed.

She looked at the girl whose appearance was a sight to behold and was pleased, she was beautiful without that scar. But then something also changed. She started feeling her body begin to itch, then her face was so hot, it felt like she was burning.

"What, what is happening to me. Stop it, it hurts!"

She fell on her knees as she held her head and began screaming in pain...

"Nooo... "

After some time passed and the pain began subsiding, she quickly tried creating a water screen to see her appearance but her powers became weak. She couldn't do it.

"What is wrong, what is going on, why can't I use my powers?"

She saw the girl smiling as she towered above her.

"You... " she said, shocked by the look on the girl's face, "What have you done to me?"

"See for yourself."

She made a mirror appear in her hands and handed it over to the Enchantress.

She was shocked at what she saw, she was extremely ugly, the scar on the girl's face was now on hers.

"No, this cannot be. Change me back!" She demanded.

"No, you brought it upon yourself."

She tried using what was left of her powers to change herself but to no avail, nothing worked.

In her frantic and frustrated state, while she tried everything, the girl pushed her off the mountain peak and she fell.

Not being able to use her powers, she fell to her death.

---------

A thousand years later, in the modern-day, the twenty-first century. In a big mansion, in one of the rooms, a middle-aged man sat cross-legged on the podium in a meditating manner.

His eyes were closed, he wore simple clothing as he sat there. The next moment there were dome light rays on his body, after a few minutes everything disappeared and went back to normal.

----------------

The sound of footsteps could be heard in the empty passageway. A middle-aged man rushed to a door and knocked, then it opened.

Inside were several chairs at the side of the room, and a man sat at the big chair opposite the door.

"Grand chief, I bring good news," he panted as he spoke.

"What is it Grand Seer?"

"A prophecy just came, you would be thrilled."

"What did it say?" The Grand Chief asked.

"Your unborn child... "

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CailinMatthews
CailinMatthewsLv12

To start of, I want to point out how intriguing the synopsis and the storyline are. It's easy to be hooked. They're interesting as well. I'm very curious about the curious. I wonder if it could only be cured by passing it to another. Because even in reincarnation, it followed the Enchantress. Compelling premise. The flow of the story's events are decent. The conversations are entertaining. The development of events isn't fast or slow, enough just to spike more anticipation for the next one. Lastly, I have a few constructive criticisms. Mainly one--which is the lack of certain details in this story. For instance, Chapter 1: > I'd like to say that 'beautiful lady' is subjective. Might be better if there's added features about this woman. Her hair is written but what makes her beautiful? Just her hair? What about her eyes? Does she has a small button nose? Plump or thin lips? I say this because describing her adds more allure. It adds to her beauty other than just saying 'stunning' and 'extremely beautiful.' > I understand the young girl has a scar but I can't imagine how it looks. Is it just one long gash from right temple to left cheek? Half of her face? Add a little more detail. > This also applies to the other characters described as 'ugly' 'disgusting' etc... or just an ordinary character. This is something I used to forget myself as a writer so I often point it out now. I hope I was able to explain why it's important in contributing for good writing. For the rest, Since this is a Fantasy story, try to work on world building. I can't picture the kind of culture this setting has. Key features are buildings, physical attributes, clothes... a writer can see these clearly in their head but remember that readers can't see them. They don't have to be all stated but pick the ones that should stand out. I really see this story has potential so I hope it can reach to even greater heights. Good luck and ganbatte!

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