Frozen Heart

Trigger warnings for February hearts: Profanity, Emotional Abuse, anxiety/depression, divorce, cheating, alcohol, murder/torture, blood, death, decapitation, knives/daggers, violence, smut, poisoning, gore

" Do what you want- it's not like we are dating?" 

Samuel looked at me like I was out of my mind,

 " Do you ever wonder what kind of thing or what karma you had to get into a situation like this?" 

My parents thought it would be for the best- you know the classic line of 'Oh we just have your best interest.' yeah, not what i was hoping for or planning, i was happy with my life, and i had a good paying job, i went to college i just paid off my student loan debt, i even got a better schedule with my sleep and health. 

But now my mother is so obsessed with a perfect image and shockingly my dad was the one who had an image of me getting married to a nice man- a decent-paying job, and having kids. Honestly, this may set off some people, but I'm childfree- i don't want kids i couldn't even afford the apartment i have now let alone for groceries and bills- 

I mean don't get me wrong my job pays me well, but you have to think of the assets- gas, car insurance, medical, groceries, clothes, electrical, and the other main priorities, like what if i want to save for a better apartment or even buy a house?

I was not ready for Samuel's response, " Natalia, to be honest with you- i just wanted a chance to look at the stars with you.'' I don't know if it's the cold breeze or the shield I built around my heart but standing on this hotel balcony with him- I was afraid of getting hurt or falling in love. 

I didn't want to open my heart to anyone again, my last relationship didn't end well- she was toxic, and my parents favored her over me- they could see all good and nothing wrong in the eyes of the devil. 

Hazel was a cruel and vindictive woman- abusive, mentally and physically. And seeing the way my parents believed her over me- it was heartbreaking and traumatizing. 

"Is that your way of going for a suave pickup line?" 

My reality was clouded by the butterflies in my stomach, and the warmth I felt rush to my face. I could tell that I was becoming flustered, especially the first time I saw Sam- it was like what the cliche meant- the world disappeared and it was like gravity pulled me towards him. Before he could say anything, I walked away- back into the hotel room. Changing the subject- to avoid what was just said, 

"I still can't believe that they screwed up the room. It's not that hard to do so- okay it's a little struggling when there is a rush but still-"

"There's only one bed, it's not the end of the world." 

Sam- you don't get it- it is the principle of it. " There is also a couch." I didn't know if he knew where I was going with this- but his eyes had that one little sparkle that glistened so perfectly every time he had an idea, or when he was lost in thought. But i sabotage every good thing that comes in my life or even comes my way- " Samuel- Take the couch"