Falling in love with my therapist

.....My eyes fluttered open and was followed by a throbbing headache. I groaned and rolled over, quickly covering my eyes with and hand. The ray of light from the sun was blinding.

I glanced at the dresser and saw the 8:00 displayed brightly on the screen of my alarm clock. Surprisingly, I slept through an alarm. It wasn't important anyway, not like I had anything to do. The alarm was set simply for formalities. Making my way to the bathroom, I grabbed a towel and shut the door.

A few minutes later, I was out dressed in a hoodie and jeans. Nothing fancy, extremely casual, and completing my looks with a pair of flip-flops. Walking to the kitchen I was having a mental debate on what to have for breakfast. Nothing seemed to fit into my appetite so I decided to skip breakfast. Flopping onto the couch, I sighed loudly. Scrolling through the TV channels was no good, I swear there was nothing good showing on the TV nowadays. " Perhaps, I should get my laptop and connect to Netflix," I thought.

There was no way I was getting up to pick it up from my bedroom, where it was safely charging. I was comfortable on the couch and had no intentions of getting up.

The honking from outside as cars sped past reminded me that today was Monday. A naturally busy day as everyone returned resumed back to work after the weekend break. Others were making a living while I laid down on my couch refusing to have breakfast. Life and it's irony..

I yawned and cursed under my breath for not getting enough sleep the previous day. Drifting into sleep gradually, the clinking of keys increased my mental alertness. I held my breath, wondering who was trying to open the door. My eyes were fixed on the door, fully focused while I remained rooted to the spot. My sister Joanne opened the door with the brightest smile.

" Hey Annie," she said and made her way to the love seat.

" You had a spare key?" I hadn't realized that.

" Yup. I took it the day you moved in here. Can't remember?" I moved in barely a week ago. It was more of Joanne and my parents moving in stuff and giving instructions. There was no need to pay attention as long as I was concerned.

" No" I responded scratching the back of my neck. Looking everywhere trying to avoid meeting her eyes. She groaned and came to sit beside me, throwing her arms over my shoulder.

" Little Ann... "she began. I rolled my eyes at her words. Joanne here has insisted on calling me ever since we were little. I was so little anymore, I was even taller than she was. But my 30 yr old sister will never stop, old habits die hard I guess. She's my second momma.

" You can't just continue to live like this," She said gesturing around.

" Like how?" I inquired, feigning confusion.

" Terrible eating habits, comfortable in bad living condition, refusal to interact with anybody. You even refused to get a job, how do you think you'll survive?" A job? That's a huge NO, NO. Wasn't there another way for me to survive?

" Joanne, I'm not getting a job. I already told you, I don't want to talk to anybody." This conversation was repetitive. Mom says the exact same thing every single day when she calls me. I wished they'll respect my decisions enough to let it go.

" OK, but how do you expect yourself to have enough to feed, pay the bills, and rent? Money doesn't fall from the sky you know" If only... If only money actually falls from the sky.

" I don't eat much.. I have enough groceries for a while. I also don't have to pay for my rent for a couple of months. As for the bills, when I get there I'll come up with a plan" Hence when I get to the bridge I'll think of how to cross it.

" Can you hear yourself?" She stared at me and shook her head. I could tell she was getting irritated. Her high-pitched voice made the last sentence came out as a squeak.

" Respect my decision, Joanne!" I stated blatantly

" You need to get out Annie.. Interact with people, make new friends. And most importantly, live life. How long do you plan to stay locked up in this terrible living space." Pfft, terrible living space. I just moved here, it wasn't that bad but needed renovations. I accepted to live here because of space and the streets. The walls needed repainting and nothing was properly arranged, some boxes were littered around.

" I'm just not ready to "Live life" I made air quotes while saying live life for emphasis.

" I'm not trying to be pushy or anything but you have to get over these things. I'm pretty sure you'll die from lack of interaction if you keep going at this pace"

" That's exactly what you're doing, you are been pushy. I have had this conversation too many times. I state my reasons and everyone ignores it yet tries to get me to listen" Scoffing, now I was upset. I'm only trying not to get in everyone's way, why do they keep bugging me?

" You don't want to be seen as a liability, now do you?"

" No" Maybe I was the problem, not them. I hated being dependent, it's better to suffer alone rather than drag everyone down with you. That was the reason I never spoke about the pain I was going through until I could no longer handle it. Basically, till it became forces above my control.

" You'll heal Ann, one step at a time. Put in an effort"

" Okay, what you're saying is?..." Hmmm, she definitely has something else to say. Few seconds passed, without an answer and I sat waiting for her to speak.

" You NEED to see a therapist" her voice filled the house, halting the awkward silence.