Falling Heart

"I can't marry you." He shook his head as if to not even let such a notion enter his head "I don't want to marry you." He looked at me then straight in the eyes, stressing his un-want towards me.

I always used to wish those twinkling stars that I'll do anything if only they'll have him look at me once. And now that my wish is coming true, I didn't know, if to thank those stars or curse them.

Without knowing that his words were burning me alive unseen, he continued "There's only one girl for me and I already have her. I don't need you or anyone else for that matter. I am sure you are a nice girl or else Granna wouldn't have chosen you for me. " He stopped again staring away from me. Yes, I am a nice girl but not enough for you to even look at me.

I tried hard to remain blank faced, not revealing any emotion, afraid he'll too easily sense the volcanic eruption of sorrow scalding me inside. Not even once I looked away from him. Who knows when I'll ever be lucky enough to lay my eyes on him without any restriction again?

"Just tell Granna no. Refuse the offer. It isn't for you." It was no request this time. Just an order which was to be fulfilled at every cost. His eyes forced his will on me. He has already decided.

I am not to be a part of his life.

I am not the one he wants.

And just like that he was done dealing with me. His business finished. Not even waiting for my reaction he strode away elegantly, authoritatively, never once looking back. Capturing every living being's attention and leaving one dying. I saw him until I could. Until he was just a blur. Until he disappeared. It was like his presence alone was giving me the strength to stand. I fell to my knees and kept on staring in the far distance in hopes that maybe he'll come back if only to drag me away from his land.

And I kept on gazing in the far forests lost in track of time.

When I came out of my stupor, I realized night had already fallen.

Its already this late.

I got up on my unsteady legs. Too stiff for sitting so long. A buzzing sensation passed in them and I was finally able to stand properly. I looked around to bring back my senses. And the events of the day rushed back with clarity.

Yes, I was called in Their Land. I was supposed to meet him. Oh, how handsome he looked today.! How grateful I was to be graced with his presence, for the first time to ever see him this close, for him to acknowledge my presence.

For ending this farce of my "out of place" imagination of getting married to him.

I must go home.

Prepare the dinner. Ma must be really hungry. I promised her I'll bake her those cookies she's so fond of. The flour ..do we have it or should I have bought it when I had the chance last time.?

Ma.

My eyes widened in horror.

She must be worrying about me. Its already this late.

I ran with frenzy holding my skirt up to my knees. Oh, holy mother how can I just forget about her.

That's why they have a right to throw those rocks at you. I berated myself.

I saw the lights turned on in the living room.

I hurried and reached the door. Before even knocking, the door was flung open and Ma engulfed me in a big hug.

"Zairiya. Where were you...? You are all right aren't you...?" Her familiar essence washed over me and I calmed down. Her warmth instantly warming my cold heart.

"Ma..I am sorry..I lost track of time.." She let go of me and framed my face with her fair hands .

"You are really alright..?"

"Yes Ma. I am perfectly fine." I replied weakly.

I stared at those familiar hazel eyes , straight nose and full cherry red lips .She kissed my head and ushered me inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

"Zairi why were you in their territory..?"

I spun around fast and stared at my Ma whose concern was etched on her forehead in form of those wrinkles.

She always knew everything.

I smiled despite myself and hugged her again.I stayed quiet and let her hold me.

"What's wrong ,my child..?"

"He doesn't want to marry me "

No question , no sympathy just her love which poured over me in waves. That's my Ma.

We stood like that for some time. Ma finally decided to stop this charade. Just like that, the topic was changed.

"Okay since you weren't here, I took it upon myself to cook something delicious for the both of us."

She sure knew how to take my mind off things.I pulled away and stared wide eyed at her in horror.Ma didn't knew how to cook even though she claimed to love cooking. So she experimented with things at home.

Making me taste burned , salty , horrendous tasting food every time she succeeded in cooking the food ,without blasting the kitchen ,that is.

"You are kidding right.?" I asked but seeing her twinkled eyes I already knew the answer.

"Nope my child." She smiled revealing her dimpled cheeks.

"You used magic didn't you..?" I tried keeping nervousness out of my face.

"Who do you think I am Zairiya Deno Slavisna..?Me the great mage and witch of the North, A reputed and highly in demand sorceress would resort to magic to cook food for my own precious, sweet, beautiful baby ." She said in mock outrage.

I shook my head and prepared myself.

"Ma I am already full.I'll pass the dinner tonight." I pleaded again but as it always is ,Ma grabbed my hand and we headed to the dining table which was full of various dishes.

Oh Holy mother no..Please..

"Sit here Zairi..Let me pour you this curry I made today.You know it has those soothing herbs in it.You'll relax instantly, child.And this one here will make you happy in a few dimes..And that rice with red sauce will help you sleep with sweet dreams.I searched that one myself without any help from Sekra."

I smiled at her enthusiasm and let her feed me everything she wanted.

What can I say.

I love my Ma.She's the only person in this world for me,my world.

Another few hours followed with eating and vomiting. Although Ma repeatedly asked for forgiveness.I wasn't easy this time.Let that give her a lesson to never cook again and making me eat it.Although I ate it willingly but that's because she's my Ma.Of course I'll eat it .

Its high time she accepted that SHE CAN'T COOK.I shut her out of my room after asking Sekra for some herbal potion to let me sleep peacefully.

It was time to finally shut my eyes .Just before that a departing figure flashed before my eyes.

It was then the realization finally dawned.

He can't ever be mine even though he has already made me his.