The story in general is too fast, we do not know who he was before reaching one piece, a "normal" person, as you said, does not learn to control his fruit and fight the moment he arrives, also the mc hardly appears he kills more than 1000 people who have nothing to do without any regrets, the only thing that is known about the system is that it gives missions, and it seems that it 'controls' it, since the system sends it to do a massacre, it does it, it orders to kill a noble family without weighing the consequences, does it, become a pirate, does it, etc. the dialogues and characters lack work, they have no character, the personality of the Mc, among other things, I think it is not at all bad, the idea also only that it was not planned well and it is too hasty and there is really no development.
but I think that if you don't hurry and plan the story better and explain it, it may well improve.
(Google translator)
