Sleepless

A few days ago and thousands of miles away…

-Hadi, I told you as a friend I am not the ideal person to do this! A psychiatrist should not be someone from your close circle of friends ! it's really the first criteria for selecting one!

Hadi was sitting in his friend's office at his clinic. He showed up without an appointment as usual.

-Come on man… I come from a family of psychologists, psychiatrists and all types of psyche gurus on the planet, think I do not know that ? All I need at this stage is an opinion, I mean call it a friend's advice. Is it worth it to travel to the Middle East now? Do you think these dreams would stop then. Yes or no? simple questions, even simpler answers.

His friend grumbled while he poured himself another cup of coffee without offering Hadi any.

- What? no coffee for me? Tsk tsk not too friendly that.

- No. you probably had five cups by now and you are suffering from insomnia this is the first advice I'd give you for now : stop caffeine!

- heheh . I had only three as it happens!

Hadi went to pick a paper cup off of the counter behind his friend's chair and filled it with the dark brew to the rim.

- Just give me my answers and I will be out of your hair. I have a book to finish, you know.

- you and your books how many do ou write a year? 3-4 ? Where do you find the time and ideas??? Beats me …

- Oh I write two and you know where I find the time… I do not sleep . Other than that, you know I am partially a product of the special forces. Quitting doesn't make you forget years of discipline and tight schedules. Working under pressure is addictive. I am afraid I will be wired like this for years… if not for life.

- mmmm, well I COULD teach you how to rewire your brain but given your mulish bent it'd be a waste of time.

- hahahah so I am a mule now??? Not very nice that … to hit a man at his lowest

Hadi's smile seemed to contradict his own words but his friend seemed to actually take his words into consideration.

-Ok Hadi. Let me recap…

The phone rang.

-Yes Duna?… I need 10 minutes… yes 10 minutes only. He looked at HAdi pointedly and put the phone down.

Hadi raised his arms surrendering… His friend continued:

- you are a writer on a tight schedule. you left the special forces due to a major accident. You lost your father a couple of weeks ago. It is understandable that you are having issues sleeping.

- but the recurring dream…

- let me finish… you are dreaming of a woman sitting in a coffeeshop in a country miles away from here.

-YES.

-How do you know where the place is…

- the cafe 's name is written in english and Arabic and she is carrying a book called History of Beirut.

- you could have easily seen her on instagram for example and stored the image in your brain … you are writing a new novel .. maybe this has something to do with it.

- ok I ll give you that … I even admit that I was thinking of Beirut as the location of my new thriller but … But this does not explain why I see her face with that book in that coffeeshop and why she seems to be talking to me.

- I hear life there is not easy …

- Life is not easy anywhere.

Hadi's voice lost its lightness.

- Yes but they have both security and economic issues…

-Right…

- So I would advise you take a rest for a couple of days .. I could prescribe some medication to help you sleep and then we see if you still have these dreams…

- been there done that. I tried to escape to Paris, it did not work.

- Did not work as in you still dreamed of her…

- Yes.. the problem is it does not seem like a dream… it seems too real. I can see all the details of her face her messed up hair the coffeeshop … it's all too vivid.

-and then what …

- And then her eyes well up with tears, she extends her arm towards me and her sleeves are drenched in blood…

- Damn!

- yes … It's not the blood that bothers me though. It's the tears…

- what do you mean?

Hadi wanted to tell him, that he felt her tears on his own face when he woke up_not once but many nights in a row. but kept that to himself.

- It feels like I am suffocating… not a good feeling to wake up to.

- ok… so what do you want to do.

- I want to go there.

- where exactly?

- Beirut.

- and ?

-And nothing… I ll take it from there. What do you think?

- I think you're crazy!

- is that what you tell your patients?? Brilliant!!

- oh shut up you are not my patient. Go away…

-So ..

- you know what??? on a second thought just go.

- what ? you are telling me to go now?

- yes… sometimes the only way to deal with an obsession is a healthy dose of reality.

- you think I am obsessed… with what exactly ?

- Duuuuuh ! The woman of course !

- whaaaat ??? Now you lost it man… she is not even remotely my type.

- And that would be …

-women who know what they want and look the part.

- how do you know she doesn't …

- I have eyes…

- you have nothing… just go and let me know when you get there.

Hadi was surprised his friend did not dissuade him from his crazy plans. he knew his friend was aware of the security situation in Beirut yet he did not even mention it…

- I am going , Hadi said and stood up.

- Just go. You will see...

-If this is some reverse psychology trick man, it is not working. I will go.

-Goooo, am telling you go! And bring me something nice from Beirut.

Hadi had already left… he had a trip to plan.