Family Function

Funerals were always terrible. Religious family members prattling on about how angels descend down to retrieve whoever died, lots of crying, kids asking questions, occasionally someone will start a fight or everyone gets drunk and screams the night away. Then there's a little shuffle, everyone wakes up and quickly goes back to their house and oh so loving family. It was an extra creepy season of wife that felt like it was never gonna end.

Everyone had their eyes on me today, whenever they saw me move, they all stalked like hawks. It made me sick so I went outside during the service. People took issue to that, it was my brother that died after all. This whole big deal over someone we all knew hated this shit and yet here we were. Him, stuck in a big box with people whining about the injustice of his passing despite not being close to him at all, the rest watching me or making bargains, bets, deals in the background. And then me, standing outside, in the rain with a cigarette and umbrella for company. Then the doors opened, my sister stepped out, no cover or umbrella.

"Are you gonna come back in for a speech?" My sister asked, she dressed up a lot for today. Probably at request of an uncle or something, no waterproofing today though, her makeup was running.

"Didn't plan on it. You do one." She frowned at my reply

"He's your–"

"Our brother. We all came from the same drunk."

"Don't call him that!"

"I'll see you at the wake."

"Juno! Come on, just this once? Let's go back inside and I'll talk with you up there, it'll be easy. Get in, talk, get out–"

"I hate how they look at me. It makes my skin crawl."

"Your fault for wearing a suit."

I flicked my cigarette too hard and it slipped from my hand. There wasn't much left but it was still a waste. The downpour ruined it before there was a decision to be made, she scoffed and pulled my arm.

"I got them back inside, just for a few words. It's not a great time for–"

"She can speak for herself." Someone interjected

She looked at me, expecting a response.

"Either address me properly or not at all." I kept my head down and walked up to the podium. Looking out from this slightly elevated point made me feel sick. The knot in my stomach felt like it grew.

"A-afternoon…" voice cracked immediately, June, my sister, cut in and said her piece. Speaking as if she was talking on my behalf. The knot kept growing and my vision started to swim. She kept rambling and sending her condolences and thanking everyone and it felt vile.

She spoke for maybe a minute and a half but that was enough time for me to organise enough in my head to speak. She pat my arm and left for her seat as if to say 'come along' but I decided to say my piece

"I… I hate most of you here. He did too. This whole spectacle, it'd drive him nuts. Who could even afford this shit anyway? If ANY of you selfish fuckers actually paid an ounce of care or attention to either of us he'd be okay. He's dead now. Not coming back, never saying hi, not gonna be a little thing wrapped around your goddamn fingers anymore!"

June immediately got out of her seat and ran to stop me, tripping in her heels and falling face first, everyone else just stared at me horrified,

"He's free and I won't lie, I resent it. He doesn't get to see the bullshit sham you put together to 'justify' your shitty 2 timing shit and don't look at me like I shouldn't know, you're all obvious idiots." The feeling of shutting up was dwarfed by the sheer shock on their faces

"Fuck the lot of you, fuck this church, fuck you cheating pricks, fuck the reception, fuck the organisers, fuck the bastard that put him in that fucking box in the first fucking place so now I'm left a-fucking-lone to deal with you rancid assholes. And most of all, Fuck you Jericho, grinning prick. You better be having a good time wherever the fuck you end up!"

My face felt like it was burning but the knot was gone, everyone looked like they've gotten a hard slap to the face and nothing could stop me grinning… or so I thought. Someone started slow clapping from the centre of the room, none of us saw them come in. They had large lights coming off their back and hurt for me to look at.

"Juno Allinore Sandlewood, lovely speech. Your passion reached the heavens above and I, your Guardian Angel, came to say you are indeed a fool and now you have overstepped a line you should not have."

No one else in the room was moving, the air felt stiff.

"So what?"

"So what?! You have urged the wrath of some forces you should never have called out to, you have a chance to stop this from–"

"I couldn't give a shit. My brother's dead, everyone else treats me like shit. Fuck 'em."

"Juno… you are going to condemn the rest of the world over something petty like a brother dying?"

Before I realised, I punched the Angel. They seemed unfazed but it felt like something not to do.

"Fair enough. But you have to apologise, not to me, but to them." They pointed up to the sky. Through the stained glass it was easy to make out a massive eye with many, many smaller eyes staring down at me. The largest eye looked as if it could replace the sun, I could feel an intense rage coming from it.

"Why?"

"To prevent the end of the world."