i forgot what this book was about

okokokok lemme think so like there was this guy named john and like I REMMEBER OKAY SO

john had his house and stole all the big mac meat from magdonalls and was eating the big macs and then he heard something outside his house, he saw a scary man outside the window of his house and he opened the door and the man fuckign knocked him out and he was passed out for 3 hours and the n he woke up in a cage outside he could see text that translated too "chene cow slawing facility" which meant that he would soon be turned into a delicious 10 piece chicken mcnugget meal avaiable now for only 8.99 at magdoalls. the other man unlocked his cage and forced him into a fenced off area outside and pulled a gun out. then john taught about the glory of chene and everything he ever stood for and then he was like "mega transformer power awesome マザーファッカー go!!!!!!!! and then killed the mysterious gun man and he fucking died. he went back to his house and finally started executing his plan to rebuild chene but he realized he would need people. there were not many people in chene due to the battle 15 yers ago (more on this later). john knew nobody so he went out on a magic cow (like a horse but cow form) and ventured into the unknown.