Chapter 5

I feel like I am alone in this house. It has been a week since my mother was admitted into the psychiatric hospital. My father has been following a predictable schedule, waking up, drinking at the supper table, spending the night in Charles room. Since the school holidays have started, I hardly leave the house. This has given me time to think about Charles' death. Somewhere out there, a murderer is roaming free and justice for my brother's death has not been served.

It's nearly 1 pm and I have decided to go and see my mother today. My father is still sitting at the table when I leave the house.

"I'm going to see mom."

Silence.

It's started raining again so I do a quick sprint to the car. When I arrive at the hospital, the rain has stopped and the sky displays a beautiful rainbow. The receptionist walks me to my mother's room. On my way there I notice how quiet the place is. Everyone in this place is on a journey, people in this place have faced such pain in their lives, that they saw death a better option, some live a warped reality where nothing makes sense. Some have lost everything and others have lost themselves. I walk silently paying my respects to each and every warrior in their respective room, fighting battles that I may never understand.

I gently knock on my mother's room. I'm greeted by her small face and a smile. She's has lost a lot of weight, her clothes hang of her shoulders and her collarbones are more visible than they should be. She has dark circles under her eyes.

"Mom?" my eyes go blurry from the tears. My heart is broken and yet there's a certain warmth that makes me feel safe again.

"Maya, I've missed you so much."

We stand by the door, holding each other tightly, sobbing into each other's shoulders.

"Let's go for walk," she says calmly.

We go into the garden, lined with flowerbeds and lush grasses.

"How's daddy?"

She turns to look at me taking my hand into hers.

"Mom, we are not okay. Things are not okay at home, all he ever does is drink and sit at the table. I don't know what to do anymore."

I struggle to get the words out as my throat tightens up and my eyes become blurry from another wave of tears.

"I just want you to come home mom."

"I will come home soon Maya, I promise. But I need to get better, for dad and for you. You deserve two parents that will support you through everything you're going through, but I am sick Maya. Let me get better soon and I will come home. Everything will be okay."

We stand together crying in the garden for a few minutes, with the beautiful blue sky and the rainbow as our background.

**

I walk silently to my car, feeling both sadder, yet better than when I arrived. I walk towards the car with a sense that somebody is looking at me. Paranoia makes me look around and sure enough a few cars away from me to my left is a young man in a black jersey. I immediately recognize his face as McDonald's boy. He is leaning against his car, his hair down, and he is staring directly at me. I hesitate, thinking whether to get into my car or to walk up to him. I decide to walk up to him, trying to put on my best 'serious face' on.

But the more I get closer to him, the more fearful I get, as if danger surrounds him and I enter the danger zone the closer I come. I stop about a meter away. He has not taken his eyes of me the whole way, looking at me with his head slightly tilted downwards. His thick black eyelashes and long hair give his face wolf like features, beautiful yet dangerous.

"Can I help you," I ask, trying to sound as brave and fearless as possible.

"No." A cold and dismissive reply.

"You've been staring at me ever since I left the building so I thought that maybe you had something to say."

"I just recognized your face from somewhere, that's all."

So he remembered me.

"Why are you here anyway?"

"Why are you here?"

"I came to see my mom."

"What's wrong with her."

"That's a bit personal."

"You're afraid to tell a stranger your secrets?"

"Pretty much."

"I'm a stranger, what's the worst that can happen?"

I eventually give in, seeing as he is not willing to let it go.

"She's depressed. My brother recently died."

"Oh. What happened to him?"

"He got hit by a car."

He looks down and when he looks at me again, his eyes have a warmer expression, sympathy.

His face turns cold again, as if something has suddenly changed in a matter of milliseconds.

"I have to go."

"So I tell you my sad story and this is all I get?"

"Look I am sorry that happened to you and your family, but I have to go."

He gets into his car and I start I start to feel a mix of anger and confusion at the same time. I just told him how my life has fallen apart and I receive no sympathy?

I walk back to my car and I drive back home. I am about to turn into my driveway when I spot a black Audi parked a few blocks away from my house. My heart starts to race as I realize that it looks exactly like the strange boy's car.