Chapter Six

Bella

We open the door to leave, and I spot Derek. I shoot him a small smile. "Hello, Derek," I greet, and he returns my smile with a nod of acknowledgment.

"Where are we going?" Logan asks from behind me.

I don't reply. Instead, I just keep walking, leaving him no choice but to follow me. I take the stairs instead of the elevator. I don't think I can manage to be in an enclosed space with him, especially in my current state of mind.

We finally get to the roof of the hospital building, and I take a deep breath of fresh air. All that hospital air was beginning to mess with my system.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions," I say, and he comes to stand beside me.

"Yes, I do."

I ignore the fact that his arm is rubbing against mine. I can feel the crisp fabric of his shirt through the hospital gown.

"Ask away," I say, bracing myself. I'm about to open up to this man and tell him things I haven't told anyone in years.

"How are you?" He asks and turns to look at me.

I'm stunned by his question, so I look back at him.

"How am I?"

"Yes. Tell me. I want to know how you feel about everything that has been going on. "I want to know how you're doing."

Somehow, his question feels more intimate than what I had prepared to answer. It's not what I expected, and it catches me off guard. So I put up those barriers.

"How do you think I am?" I snap at him. "Is that a trick question?"

One side of his lips tips up, and I'm momentarily distracted by how beautiful his half smile is.

"No, it's not a trick question." "And you're the one in the position to tell me how you feel."

Maybe it's the way he says it, with his eyes piercing into my soul, that makes me turn away from him.

"I feel a lot of things." "But I'm mainly just tired."

He's silent beside me, taking in what I just told him. So I just decided to spill everything.

"I dated a guy immediately after I left high school," I said, sitting on one of the benches there. I don't know who brought them here, but it was a very thoughtful thing to do. He takes a seat beside me and pays me his full attention.

"He was twenty-five." I had just turned eighteen. Everything was good at first. He treated me well, and I loved him. He was my first love. There was no money to send me to college. I took on a waitress job to help her. He got a new job in the next town and suggested I move with him. I accepted immediately, but Mom wasn't in support. I was stubborn and insisted. She couldn't do anything to stop me.

"We moved into his new apartment, and things were okay for a while. I got another waitress job there and was trying to save up for college since he was paying for everything. Then he started hanging around the wrong crowd and started drinking. That's when things started to go south."

I take a deep breath, then continue.

"He started hitting me." He used to shove me if I irritated him. Then the shoving turned to slapping. Slapping turned to punching, and the next thing I know, I'm already his punching bag. He was very manipulative and narcissistic, so he would make me think it was my fault. "I always believed him."

"He lost his job due to his alcoholism, and I started taking care of the both of us from the pennies I made at the restaurant." At some point, I had to take a second job. All he did was spend the money I brought on drinks. I decided one day that I wasn't giving him any money because we were tight on cash and he was just going to buy drinks with it. He beat me to a pulp that night.

"He seized my phone, so I was completely cut off from my family." I lost one of my jobs because I didn't show up to work after he beat me up. His drinking habits didn't change. He started getting into a lot of debt and getting into trouble.

I see Logan's hands form into fists beside me, and I almost laugh. I haven't even gotten to the worst part yet.

"One day he comes home with food." He cooks, he cleans the apartment, and when I come home, he's being extra nice to me. Immediately, I knew something was up. He later tells me that his brother had a business deal for us. "We could make up to a hundred thousand dollars."

"I'm intrigued, obviously, so I ask him for details. He then tells me that his brother knows a couple looking for a surrogate to carry their baby. I refuse at first, but after much persuasion, I accept. I meet the couple, and they seem nice. Everything just seems rushed. There's no lawyer involved. They just take me to the hospital, where the sperm and egg are injected into me. "I become pregnant."

"I genuinely want to stay with the couple, but they say that it's not necessary." So I have to carry their baby to my boyfriend's house. He abuses me verbally and even physically sometimes. He threatens to kill the baby sometimes if I do something he doesn't approve of. He calls me ugly and shames me throughout my pregnancy.

"Did you tell the couple?" Logan asks with gritted teeth, and I chuckle.

"They didn't care." They just told him to take it easy so he wouldn't harm their baby. They send money to my boyfriend sometimes for upkeep, but no single penny gets to me. He literally spends everything on alcohol. I skip a lot of antenatal appointments, and I don't take any pregnancy medications. "I honestly don't know how the baby survived till that point."

"I went into early labor. "After eight hours of excruciating labor, my baby is born. My voice cracks a little, and Logan takes my hand in his.

"He's blue in color." The doctors said there was a lack of oxygen. "He died in my arms."

I don't notice the tears falling from my eyes until Logan cradles my face in his hands and wipes them.

"They all left me there." My boyfriend, his brother, the couple They all fucking left!"

Logan's hand is rubbing circles on my back, and it helps me calm down a little.

"Claire was the one who took me from the hospital. Her brother was admitted to the same hospital, and that is how we met. "My story went kind of viral in the small hospital," I say, letting out a bitter chuckle. "Everyone was talking about how my boyfriend and the couple whose baby I carried abandoned me at the hospital." I was in the hospital garden when she saw me. We just started talking. She asked me a few questions and asked if I had anywhere to go. I told her I didn't, and she asked if I wanted to come with her.

"She was a total stranger, and I didn't know her, but I was desperate." She told me she got a job at a new restaurant in another town, and I was elated. I was going to be away from him after wasting two years of my life with him. So I followed her here, and I started afresh.

I feel relieved after I've told him everything. He's still silent, still rubbing my back in circular motions. I haven't felt this relaxed in a while, so I let myself enjoy the moment. We sit there for what seems like hours before I untangle myself from his embrace.

"Thank you for trusting me with this," he says, and I nod.

"It's important that you know why I panicked." It's important that you know that I have a bad history with what you want me to do. But I've thought about it, and I've decided that I'll carry your child."

I sit and wait for his response, and after a beat, his reply comes.

"No."

I pause and regard him. "What do you mean by 'no'?"

"I know the reason you changed your mind was because of your mom's condition. "I'll have everything."

"No! "I don't take favors from people I just met."

"You followed someone you just met to a whole new town!"

I take in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry. "I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have." "I tell you something this minute, and the next minute you're already using it against me."

"I'm worried about you..."

"If you think I'm too fucked up to carry your child, just say it!" I spit it out.

"I'm worried about you! I don't want you to relive that experience. I know how traumatizing it can be.

"Except you're planning to treat me like s—t while I carry your child, I'm perfectly fine," I say, and he sighs.

"Let's go back inside." "It looks like it's about to rain," he says instead.

I still have a lot to say. I want to ask him why he's suddenly reluctant. I want to tell him not to feel sorry for me. But instead, I stand up and let him take my hand as he leads us inside.